


Thespis

by nicb0723



Category: J2 - Fandom, Jared/Jensen - Fandom, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-11
Updated: 2011-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-21 06:13:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicb0723/pseuds/nicb0723
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a makeup artist and is hired for a new movie based in Vancouver. Jensen plays the part of a hardcore, punk-rock star, but he has a real-life attitude problem. Unfortunately, Jared can’t figure out why and still finds Jensen attractive. They have to work alone together; long hours and long days, in small quarters of the makeup trailer. During that time, Jared discovers the actor’s secret and wants nothing more than to break away the protective mask Jensen hides behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thespis

**  
Thespis by Nicb0723**

 

Jared had been drinking too much coffee and eaten far too many chocolate bars the day he met Jensen Ackles. It was the powerful mix of not getting enough sleep on the redeye last night and being on an overdose of caffeine and sugar that made him super hyper. Combine all that with the excitement of visiting the studio for the first time and somehow Jared transformed into a complete sex-fiend goofball.

“So his dick kinda tasted like chicken and I’m like, blowin’ him, ya know? And all I could really think about was some honey barbeque sauce and how that might’ve made things a little more interesting,” Jared laughed as he told his story to Trish, one of the personal assistants, his voice echoing throughout the empty set.

“Ew. That’s so gross!” Trish giggled, tears forming at her eyes, “Don’t you hate it when their spunk tastes weird too?”

“Oh God. That’s the worst,” Jared agreed loudly. “I always make sure I eat plenty of fruit before I know I’m gonna get head. I mean, I might as well be considerate of the other guy’s taste buds, right? Unless he acts like a total douche on the date, then I drink Red Bull and man, that shit’s nasty, makes it taste like rotten eggs.”

“Sick!” Trish giggled-snorted again and reached to get a tissue out of her purse. Jared was about to tell her that he hasn’t been on a date in months and that he was currently in the middle of a serious dry spell when he spotted Jensen standing with David, the director of the movie, about five feet away.

Jared cursed under his breath, knew he’d been too loud and that they probably had heard their entire conversation. When he glanced up again and caught the death glare from David and Jensen Ackles’ very wide, surprised eyes, along with a blended look of disgust and shock, Jared’s stomach dropped into the floor.

Not exactly the best first impression.

“You have to be more professional, Jared. It’s just not an option if you want to work on this movie. We hired you for your talent, yes. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find someone else.” John keeps going on and on and Jared feels like he’s back in school, being lectured by one of his old teachers, except now it’s his boss, the producer of the movie. At least David isn’t here too. Being ripped a new one by the director and the producer would not be the best way to start his morning.

So yesterday he had messed up. Big time. But today is a new day and now he would prove to everyone that he isn’t a fuck up. He had just gotten carried away and Trish is someone who he knows from way back, and somehow they got talking about non-appropriate work topics and really bad dates gone wrong. Okay, so a blow job discussion isn’t even really appropriate for most settings except for maybe a frat house or strip club.

“Okay, John. I get it. I’m sorry, alright? It won’t happen again. Consider it a lapse in judgment.” Jared stands and moves slowly to the office door, anxious to get back to his makeup trailer.

“Fine,” John sighs, “I don’t want to hear David complaining about you again. He’s one of the best directors to be working for so don’t screw it up. And I don’t want to hear a peep from Jensen either. This is his first time acting in awhile and he doesn’t need any distractions from you. Now get going, we both have a lot of work to do so I suggest we get to it.”

Jared takes that as ‘ _get the hell out of my office, now_ ’ and flings the door open.

“And Jared?” John calls out, right as Jared was about to make his escape. He pushes the door a little and pokes his head back in the room.

“Yeah?”

“Get a haircut.”

So Jared also might’ve had pigtails in his hair yesterday. But that was just because it was really hot in the trailer and he had to keep his wild hair out of his eyes. By the time everything was where he wanted it, he was sweating like crazy and that’s when Trish came and got him for a coffee break.

If she had just come ten minutes later, Jared is sure he would’ve missed Jensen and David completely. But no, now he has to do some damage control.

He just grins politely at John and shuts the door. There is no way he’s getting a haircut. The longish, brown, shaggy hair is his _thing_.

The studio is pretty big and Jared makes his way out of the office buildings and to the very back of the lot, passes all the other trailers until he gets to his own, almost to the edge of the thick forest.

Home. At least, for the next three or four months.

It’s a double-wide trailer, thank sweet baby Jesus that it’s not a single, with plenty of room to move around in and tons of space for all of his crap. He can even stand up straight without hitting his head and flail around in circles if he wanted to without bumping into anything.

There are still at least ten boxes piled up at the side of the trailer, filled with all the equipment and supplies he’ll need for the duration of the movie. Jared breathes in deep. Ah, he loves the smell of fresh, new, sterile brushes.

“Hey Jared,” Trish knocks on the door and holds out a cup of coffee, “It’s a peace offering. I’m sorry I got you in trouble yesterday.”

Jared smiles and takes the warm cup in his hand, “Dude, totally wasn’t your fault. But thank you.” He takes a sip of the coffee slowly, careful not to burn his tongue.

“Are you all set up in here?” Trish asks, looking around the mess and scrunching her nose. “Looks like you got some done yesterday. Anything else you need?”

Jared pushes a box with his foot,“I don’t think so. What time is Jensen gonna be here for a run through?”

“Not until tomorrow,” Trish says. “That’ll give you time to get set up. You want me to send someone back here to help you unpack these boxes?” She steps into the trailer and looks at herself in the mirror. “You think I need some highlights? My hair is seriously having a bad week.”

Trish is kind of a tomboy; at least she was a couple years ago. Now, Jared can tell she’s wearing makeup and her sweater is purple instead of brown. She has these big blue eyes and short blond hair, and a brain on top of it.

“I don’t know,” Jared says dryly. “I may do hair and be a gay makeup artist, but I still don’t know what’s in for girly cuts.”

“You know, Jared. If you didn’t put _your_ hair in pigtails and talk about cock all the time, I wouldn’t even know you were gay.”

“I don’t talk about cock all the time. You just caught me reminiscing. And that’s too damn bad,” Jared teases, “Because my gay is the most attractive thing about me.”

“Yeah,” Trish’s gaze dances across Jared’s broad shoulders and lingers to where his t-shirt stretches across his flat stomach. “I’m sure.”

“Hey do you know when lunch is? I’m starving,” Jared asks. He turns quickly so Trish can’t see him roll his eyes. Girls always think that they’re so sly when they check him out. It kind of squeaks him. He picks up a box of hair dye and sets it on the counter, shakes off the mental grope session

Trish looks at her watch, “Actually, they’re probably bringing out the food now. You wanna go get some and I’ll show you around a little?”

“Sounds good,” Jared grabs his coat and scarf. It’s chilly out and the clouds are already starting to roll in. It figures that this would be a winter shoot, not that Jared minds _too_ much. Screw that. Hell, yes he does. Nothing will beat the summer he spent in Hawaii working on _Surfin’ Time_. Too bad it went straight to video.

“Okay so that’s Jensen’s trailer right there,” Trish points out as they make their way across the huge plot of flat land. Jensen’s trailer is pretty close to Jared’s, probably because Jensen will be spending a lot of time getting makeup done since his look is so complex, Jared guesses.

“And that one is Brent’s. He seems really nice.” Trish points to a trailer at the front of the lot, way off to the side. As far as Jared can tell, from the brief read through of the script he skimmed over, the movie is based around two characters. Jensen is one of the main actors and Brent Butler is the other. Jared was hired specifically for Jensen and has to do all the work himself because he isn’t allowed an assistant, which Jared finds a little weird. “And there’s wardrobe, editing, sound, production, props, lighting, medic…”

Jared only half-heartedly listens as she continues, pointing to trailers and trucks that all pretty much look exactly alike. Jared figures he really doesn’t need to know all this crap and lets his mind wander until he smells food.

“And finally we have craft services,” Trish finishes. “There isn’t much because we haven’t officially started shooting yet so grab what you can.”

Jared takes two sandwiches, a bag of chips, and stuffs a donut in his mouth as he sits down at a table. “I’m still growing,” He says when Trish lifts an eyebrow.

“You grow anymore and you’ll be tall as a tree,” Trish grins and starts to riffle through her messenger bag. “Here, I’m supposed to give you this,” She hands over a thick binder, “David said to look these over because this is what they’ll be looking for tomorrow. He’ll approve Jensen’s look and give you feedback on what he wants changed.”

“Okay,” Jared takes the binder, wishes David had given it to him a week ago so he could have planned better. Plus he still has to put his stations together. He can’t really mouth off about the director of the movie though so he’ll have to deal with it. Fuck, it’s gonna be a long night.

“David and John will probably show up in the late afternoon and we told Jensen to be at your trailer around eight in the morning so that should give you plenty of time.”

“Okay.” Jared says again, now feeling slightly overwhelmed. He glances up just in time to see Jensen at the end of the crafts service table. Jared gives a small smile and waves.

Jensen stares blankly and turns away to sit at a table by himself.

“What’s with Ackles?”

Trish doesn’t say anything, but her eyes shift down.

“Is it because I made an ass outta myself yesterday? Is he a homophobe? That’s just fuckin’ great.”

Trish sighs and moves to sit on the bench besides Jared so she can talk quietly. “Look, I don’t think he’s a homophobe. He has been like that since he came on set three days ago, to everyone expect for Brent, John, and David. Even to them he doesn’t really talk much.”

“I wonder what his problem is,” Jared says as he watches Jensen eat across ten rows of tables. The actor fidgets for a minute and then hastily gets up, throws his half eaten sandwich away and takes off towards his trailer.

“You wanna know what I think?” Trish asks, “I think he’s a self-centered asshole who can’t see past his own arrogance. He’s fucking gorgeous and no one is good enough to even talk to him, let alone be in close proximity with the guy.”

“Hmm,” Jared scratches his head and takes a gulp of his root beer. He has worked with stuck up actors before, and even worse, stuck up actresses. Jensen doesn’t seem like the type. He’s too quiet, for one. Usually big shots, or wanna-be big movie stars, are always on their cell phones, barking out orders, or laughing too loud purely for the attention. They wear diamond watches and designer shoes, not an old black t-shirt and worn-in leather watch like Ackles. Although, Jared’s pretty sure the guy is wearing designer jeans but he can’t really blame him because the way they cling to Jensen’s ass? Priceless.

The only thing that Jared really knows about Jensen Ackles is that he’s damn good looking, which means he’s also probably straight. He also may or may not have a small attitude problem.

This isn’t much to go by.

Jared thinks he saw Jensen in a movie he rented a few years ago but can’t remember what it was about or even the title of the damn thing.

“Hey Trish? Do you know if we get wireless internet up here? I need to look up something on my computer.”

Ten minutes later and Jared kind of feels like a stalker. He would be really embarrassed if anyone walked into the trailer right now.

He takes a quick glance at the time. Shit, it’s already two in the afternoon. This would have to be a speedy search.

Jared quickly pulls up IMDB and settles with his laptop across his knee. Immediately he gets distracted by the images after he types in Jensen Ackles.

A half an hour goes by incredibly fast. The guy is insanely cute, with sparkling clear green eyes framed with dark lashes and crinkles in the corners if he’s smiling. Jared really likes the pictures of Jensen smiling. He bites his bottom lip when he comes across a close up of Jensen’s face. Guh. Freckles.

Surprisingly, and maybe a little disappointedly, there are only a handful of photos, but Jared looks at all of the carefully. From what he can tell, the pictures were taken during the opening of Jensen’s last movie.

Last movie. Right. Jared is supposed to be researching the actor he’s working with. He closes out of images and clicks on the main page again. Only a few facts pop up and the first is a one hundred word biography, so Jared chooses it to start with.

There’s only a short paragraph and Jared’s a little frustrated. Jensen is obviously not as famous as say, Brent, but Jared also thought he might’ve been living under a rock when it came to Jensen’s career. Definitely not.

In Jensen’s last movie, _Heat Rising_ , he played a supporting role as a fireman who – ouch. Dies. It got two and a half stars, and it came out on dvd four years ago. Jared doesn’t recognize any of the other people in the movie, or the director’s name. Jensen’s middle name is Ross. He’s thirty years old. He grew up in Texas. He started out as a model when he was just a teenager.

That’s it.

Jared closes out of the biography and clicks on trivia. The only additional information that he gets there is Jensen has a younger sister, an older brother, and almost three years ago Jensen’s house was robbed.

Nothing useful. Jared shuts down his computer and gets to work setting up, his mind still on Jensen. It’s odd for an actor to have that much time in between movies, especially since Jensen is fairly young; at least he was when he started modeling, and seriously smokin’ hot.

Maybe he just sucks as an actor. It’s very possible. But then again, David Pitt is a well known director and has reasonably good movies under his belt.

Interesting. Well, Jared will have plenty of time to judge for himself if Jensen sucks or not while he watches the takes. Not having an assistant will also mean that he’ll have to be on set with Jensen at all times for touchups. Since Brent and Jensen are the main characters, they’ll have to be available round the clock, which means Jared will have to be too.

It doesn’t take long for Jared to set up the hair station. He lines up the colorful dye under the mirror and sets his clippers to the side, along with scissors, gloves, towels, gel and other random supplies.

The other side of the trailer takes a little longer to put together. Jared ordered a makeup case he knows will have everything he’ll need; he’s not too worried about that. He takes out two airbrushes, one for Jensen’s face and a larger one for tattoos. He’s glad he brought his own stencils he created awhile ago because the ones the studio provided for him are really stupid.

When all the boxes are empty, Jared stands with his hands on his hips, looking over the counters and calculating in his head anything that he might have missed. By now its early evening and he should probably pack it up for the night. Jared grabs the binder Trish had given him at lunch and slumps in one of the chairs, reclining it back a little to get comfortable.

He flips to the middle. The pictures are exactly what he pictured in his head, so he’s a little relieved for that. All the guys have either blue or red spiked hair, sometimes both. They have tattoos everywhere on their body, including arm sleeves and a few around the neck. Some of the guys have multiple piercings; one picture even has a guy with a chain across his cheek attached by an ear and nose ring. All have black, smudged eyeliner to complete the look.

Jared smiles to himself. This would be fun. Turning Jensen Ackles into a hardcore rock star would be a challenge and Jared is definitely up for it.

Excitement settles in his stomach as he closes the binder and gets ready to leave for the day. The artist in him is wound up, ideas and images flashing through his brain. He can’t wait to get his hands on Jensen, figuring out what colors will work best for him and the different kinds of stencils he’ll use.

As Jared drives to the hotel he’ll be staying at for the length of the movie, he wonders what Jensen will be like to work with side by side for hours. Long days. Long nights. For months.

It’ll be fine. He just has to remember to behave from now on. No more talking about chicken-flavored dick.

Jared gets to the set about an hour before Jensen is supposed to get there. He immediately turns on the heater because it’s freakin’ cold in the trailer. Then he loads the airbrushes and gets his notebook out so he can write down and keep for reference exactly the color mixes he decides will be best on Jensen. He changes the battery in his digital camera and deletes the picture of a really cool bug he found outside of his truck a couple weeks ago.

He glances at his watch. It’s five past eight, Jensen’s late and now Jared’s getting antsy. He wants to keep his hands busy, wants to get started already. Swiftly, Jared works on some gloves and starts to mix blue hair dye in a small wooden bowl.

Cold air hits his back as the trailer door is flung open. Jared turns in time to see Jensen stumble up the stairs, slam the door shut, and plop himself over in the makeup chair. He’s wearing sunglasses and has headphone buds stuck in his ears; although Jared can’t see what the long white wires are attached to.

Jared slowly takes off the gloves, snapping them off as he waits for some sort of acknowledgment, but Jensen either hasn’t noticed him or just doesn’t care, because he seems to be looking straight ahead.

Or maybe he’s asleep. Or dead.

“Um. Hello?” Jared tries softly, stepping towards the actor.

Nothing.

Jared clears his throat, says louder, “Hello?”

Jensen jumps in the chair, finally turns his head a little in Jared’s general direction.

“Hi. I’m Jared,” Jared reaches out his hand, “I guess we’ll be working toget--”

Jensen gets up, passes Jared’s outstretched hand completely and slumps down in the chair by the hair station.

“Fuckin’ rude,” Jared mumbles under his breath, along with some other few choice words and steps behind Jensen. Obviously this won’t be a morning spent getting to know one another. Which is just fine, Jared decides. It’ll be less distraction and now he can concentrate on his work.

First step is to get the glasses and earphones off of Jensen without getting his head chopped off.

He decides to do it in one quick motion, like taking off a band aid.

“Sorry,” He says as he pulls on the wire disappearing under Jensen’s t-shirt, “I can’t dye your hair with these things in the way. And these will have to go too.” Jared gently takes the sunglasses off from Jensen’s face.

Hey. Eye contact. _Awesome_.

“Hi.” Jared smiles wide, works his charm just a little.

“Can we hurry this up?” Jensen grunts, voice still lined with a sleepy gruffness. “I have a million lines I need to memorize by tomorrow.”

Jared sighs. It’s going to be such a long day. “I’ll work as fast as I can, okay?”

Jensen doesn’t say anything. He closes his eyes and leans back in the chair instead.

“Before I start is there anything you want? Don’t want? I was thinking blue for the hair, unless you want a different color. David and John didn’t really specify what they wanted.”

Jensen takes a deep breath, but doesn’t open his eyes. “Whatever.”

Instantly Jared is glad he set up a handheld radio yesterday and he switches it on. If Jensen doesn’t like country music, he doesn’t say anything, and the low sounds of guitar and life-sorrows fill the trailer.

Okay. First up: hair. Jared sinks his fingers around Jensen’s head, pulls and tugs on the locks of hair, twists and manipulates this way and that. He already had a pretty good idea in his head of what he’d do, but now that Jared sees Jensen’s hair up close, he knows for sure that it’ll work. Jensen’s got nice, thick hair. It’ll be perfect.

Jared plays a little more since he can, stares at Jensen’s reflection as he scratches his skull, massaging at the base just slightly. He smiles to himself when Jensen bites his bottom lip between his teeth, slick with spit when he relaxes against Jared’s touch. Jensen is incredibly tense, and while Jared would like to work it out for him because even though Jensen is a dick, he’s still really a hot piece of ass, massaging is not what Jared is here for.

He has to focus.

Jared checks the time as he slaps on some more gloves. He can hear bustling outside the trailer, crew members passing and talking as they go. He’s glad no one has stopped in to see how they’re doing. The less interruptions, the better.

He tucks a towel around Jensen’s shoulders and into the collar of his button down flannel shirt, doesn’t bother with a full protection wrap because it shouldn’t get that out of control. The dye isn’t the greatest, but it’ll do. He paints it in even coats on the top of Jensen’s head, leaving the sides and the back his dark brown natural color. Jared separates the hair, makes sure to get an even coat down to the roots before he lets it set for twenty minutes. He sure hopes that Jensen likes blue because that’s going to be the color of his hair for the next couple of weeks.

A small smudge of dye gets on Jared’s forearm and a smear had dripped down Jensen’s temple. Jared throws the gloves away and gets the Vaseline and a towel, rubbing the stains away carefully, tilting Jensen’s jaw gently away from him for better access.

Jared motions for Jensen to stand up. “That has to be left on for twenty minutes. I’m gonna do your makeup while we wait.”

Jensen wordlessly gets up and makes his way to the other side of the trailer. He sits down and yawns, closing his eyes again.

“Okay,” Jared says, more to himself. It’s actually getting really hard for him not to talk. He usually can ramble on and on, but now he’s nervous and Jensen appears to not want to be any part of a conversation. So Jared does the next best thing and starts to hum under his breath as he opens the makeup kit.

He starts with testing out the different shades to match Jensen’s skin. It’s a shame he’s going to have to cover up those mighty cute freckles, but supposedly this rock star isn’t supposed to have any. He sprays around Jensen’s jawbone, finds the shade he chose is a little too light. Jared adds more bronzer in and gets right up in Jensen’s face and damn, he has the most perfect eyes, nose and mouth Jared has ever worked with.

Jensen is flawless. Not one blemish, not one freckle out of place, like the angel who kissed them all on really took her time. The only problem is that his mouth is pouty, but even with the corners of his lips turned the wrong way, they still look perfect. It just says that Jensen would rather be anywhere than in this trailer right now and that – well, it makes Jared uncomfortable.

“I’m gonna do your skin after I wash the dye out otherwise I’ll just have to touch it up.” Jared says. He’s not even sure if Jensen is paying attention. “But your eyes… I’m going to line them real quick, okay?”

Jensen gives a slight nod and Jared takes out the thin brush and a pot of smoky shadow. Since Jensen’s eyes are already closed, Jared does the upper lid first, trailing his fingers first down Jensen’s cheek and then up again, pulling the skin around his eye tight in order to get the line straight.

“You’re breathing on my face.”

It’s a good thing Jared doesn’t embarrass easily, “Sorry about that. Just keep still and I’ll be done in a second.”

Jensen doesn’t respond.

“Does my breath stink?” Jared asks, trying to lighten the mood. “I had tea instead of coffee this morning.”

“S’fine,” Jensen mutters.

“Open your eyes,” Jared turns to get a blending brush and has to take a second to remember how to think when he faces Jensen’s eyes dead on. They’re wide open, blinking with a certain kind of vulnerability and Jared instantly feels a flutter in his stomach, an ache that he hasn’t felt in years. Stupid stomach doesn’t know what’s good for him.

The liner is a smoky grey and Jared is careful about not poking Jensen in his very green eyes. It doesn’t take much to bring out the color and Jared takes a step back to look at his work.

“Hmm,” He tilts Jensen’s head back and forth, watching as the different lighting shadows his face.

“What?”

Jared’s slightly amused that Jensen’s paying attention now, even if he’s still scowling, “Nothing. Do you always wear contacts?”

“If I want to see, yes.”

“Just wondering,” Jared takes a darker shade of shadow, almost black and applies it to a thin bristled brush. “I’m gonna color in your lashes to make ‘em darker. I just don’t want to get it in your eyes.”

Jared doesn’t give Jensen a chance to say anything back, just pushes his chin down and slides his finger to the side of his eye, stretching the smooth skin taut again. The difference is noticeable and really makes Jensen’s eyes pop, the green now intense and striking.

“Alright. Come on, let’s wash the dye outta your hair and I’ll style it real quick.”

Jensen gets up, silently. He stands still while Jared puts on gloves again, looking around like he’s lost.

“Where’s the sink?”

“Bathroom’s through here,” Jared opens the door and while the bathroom is incredibly small, there’s just enough room for a stool by the sink.

Jensen stares at it, “I’m supposed to fit on that?”

“Yes.”

“It looks like it was built for a kid.”

Jared snickers. “You’ll be fine. Let me go in first.” He steps over the stool, sits on the toilet and slaps the leather on the small seat. “See? Just enough room for the both of us. C’mon.”

Sighing heavily, Jensen rolls his eyes and almost loses his balance. Jared catches his by the arm and guides him to sit, his back towards the low dip in the sink.

“You should really be thanking me. I had them install a basin; otherwise you’d be bending over right now while I rinse you out.”

“Mmm.”

Jared watches Jensen’s face closely and freely as he begins to shampoo. He doesn’t have to, but Jared makes a point of giving him a really good head massage, way longer than necessary, but the way Jensen’s lips part a little and the crease in his forehead finally relaxing makes it all worth it.

“Okay. You’re done,” He throws a towel over Jensen’s shoulder and motions for him to move, “Back in the hot seat.”

It doesn’t take long to cut Jensen’s hair. Jared takes the clippers and cleans him up a little around the ears and the back of his neck, then spikes the hair on top of his head. It’s definitely not a Mohawk, but in Jared’s opinion, this is better and not too crazy. Secretly, he doesn’t want Jensen’s hair to take away from his amazing face, and since his hair is _blue_ , a simple cut will make it stand out fine.

“You like it?” Jared asks Jensen’s reflection when he finishes putting in enough gel in to make his hair hard as a rock.

“Looks okay.”

“Sorry, we gotta move again.” Jared steers Jensen back into the makeup chair.

Even though he tested it, the foundation Jared thought would work is still way too light for Jensen’s skin tone. He has to fill the air brush again and go over Jensen’s forehead and cheeks, then takes a thick blending brush to smooth away any lines, focusing under his eyes and jawbone.

When he’s satisfied, Jared takes out a notebook and writes in exactly the combination of different shades he used so tomorrow he can do the same thing without wasting time.

Jensen eyes him suspiciously. “What’re you writing?”

“Oh I’m just writing some notes about you for my blog. By tonight about hundred people will know you use Old Spice.”

Heat rises quickly in Jensen’s face and before he explodes, Jared laughs and shakes his head, “I’m just kiddin’ around, dude. I wrote what numbers I used on your face and hair so I don’t have to remember.”

“Oh.” Jensen still looks a little miffed and then mutters, “And I don’t wear Old Spice.”

Jared smiles and reaches for the stack of stencils off the counter, “You want to take a break or anything before I start on the tattoos?”

Jensen’s shoulders slump like he forgot about having to get fake ink sprayed all over his body. “I guess not.”

“Okay.” Jared grabs a water bottle from his bag and takes a sip. “You can just sit back and relax while I try to figure out what patterns will look the best.”

Luckily all the tattoos will be in black ink and probably be in the shape of some of sort of tribal design, which will save a ton of time. The outlines Jared brought with him are already detailed and carved in thick plastic, but airbrushing them on won’t take too long. He chooses a circular stencil for Jensen’s neck that will lead down over his collarbone and down the back of his shoulders. Next is a tribal sun for the inside of Jensen’s forearm and a strip of ancient letters that will be inked from his elbow down to his wrist on the other arm.

After holding different stencils up to various parts of Jensen’s body, Jared decides that should do it. For now. Since Jensen will be in at least a t-shirt for most of the movie, this is all Jared’s required to figure out today. There’s one scene where Jensen will be in just jeans, but that won’t be for a couple of weeks so Jared has plenty of time to think about what else he can paint on Jensen’s chest and back.

“Okay, so if you can take your shirt off then I can get started on your neck.” Jared says easily, grabbing the airbrush that is loaded with black, long-lasting ink.

“What? Why?”

“Um,” Jared looks down at the stencil and brush in his hand, trying to state the obvious, “Half the pattern will be hidden by your t-shirt so I have to get to the skin under there.”

Jensen squirms in the seat. His forehead creases as he processes the information.

Jared gapes, dumbfounded, and speaks before he can filter his thoughts, “Dude, you got a great body. Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed.”

That wasn’t the best thing to say. Jensen’s cheeks flush and his gaze darts to the door. For a minute, Jared is sure he’s going to bolt.

And then he does, “I’m taking a five minute break. Be right back.”

Jared barely gets out “Okay,” before the door slams shut and Jensen is gone.

Great. Actors with body image issues are really not fun to work with. Besides, Jared meant what he said about Jensen having a great body. He could tell by Jensen’s broad shoulders, thin waist, and strong biceps that he at least worked out. Maybe not as much as Jared, but he was still in good shape.

Jared watches through the tiny window as Jensen walks to his own trailer and disappears inside. Sighing, he starts to clean up his stations. He glances at his watch. Dave and John will be here in about an hour and he’ll need exactly that if he wants to finish on time.

The door opens suddenly and Jensen appears with a black, ribbed tank top on. It clings to his form and Jared was definitely, very right about Jensen being in good shape. Excellent, fine shape this man is in.

“This will work.” Jensen declares sternly and sits back down, “I don’t care if it gets ink on it.”

“Uh, okay.” Jared really doesn’t see a huge difference between a skimpy shirt and just taking the damn thing off.

Oh god. What if it’s because he’s gay? What if Jensen thinks he’ll molest him or something? That’s just fucking great. Jared takes a deep breath to calm himself. It’s just a job. He needs this job. A couple of months and it’ll be over. It’s fine. He can handle it. He has dealt with plenty of homophobes before. He’ll just keep his distance and keep his mouth shut.

“That’s fine.” Jared can hear his voice harden and he clears his throat. He can’t start shit up now. Hell, it’s the first day. As long as Jensen doesn’t act like anymore of an asshole than he already is, Jared can deal.

He has to get right into Jensen’s personal space again when he lines the stencil up to his neck. Jared can almost feel Jensen go stiff again, like he’s about to pull back and wants nothing more than for Jared to stop touching him. There’s anxiety radiating off of him, his knuckles white with his fingers twisted together. God, it reminds Jared of the last time he was at the dentist office getting a root canal and tried to hold it together. There’s not much he can do though, and he doesn’t think he’s hurting Jensen for Pete’s sake, so all he can do is hold the stencil steady as he presses the button on the airbrush firmly. The dark ink shades the top of the outline in one go, leaving the rest because it’ll just get hidden by a shirt anyway.

The tattoos on Jensen’s arms don’t take long at all but Jared has to switch to a smaller tip on the air brush in order to get finer lines. When he’s done, Jared brushes powder over the ink that will set the paint and prevent any smudges. Jensen breathes easier as soon as Jared steps away from him. It’s all very frustrating.

“These will last about two weeks before I have to do them again. Use only mild soap when you shower or I’ll have to retouch them up every day.”

“Okay.” Jensen agrees while he looks at his reflection in the mirror. He seems surprised and then continues to sit and stare, like he’s trying to find himself in the stranger that appears across from him.

Jared is tired and there’s a nice, piercing headache that’s brewing right at his temples. He chugs some water to rehydrate himself and thinks that he probably should’ve eaten about an hour ago. He checks his watch and breathes a sigh of relief. Right on time.

“Knock knock!” John’s voice is loud when the door swings open. David is with him, along with an assistant who Jared’s never met.

“Hey,” Jared greets warmly and moves to stand by Jensen, “What’d you think?”

“Wow, looks great, Jared.” Dave smiles with approval as he looks Jensen over.

John has a much more critical eye and narrows his gaze. “Hair looks good. Tattoos look good too. Make sure wardrobe has a leather jacket for him, jewelry like leather bracelets and silver rings… and piercings for his nose and chin.” He nearly snaps out the orders as the assistant scrambles to write it all down. “Jensen?” John’s voice is now smoother, much calmer than it had been two seconds prior. “How do you like it?”

“Looks good,” Jensen shrugs.

“You sure? Is there anything you want to change at all?”

Jared tilts his head at the interaction going on in front of him. John is a straight shooter, tells it like it is, and doesn’t really care what you have to say about it. At least, that’s the experience Jared’s had with him. The fact that John’s giving Jensen the opportunity to give suggestions is odd.

“I was thinking that Jensen could not shave for a couple days, it’ll make him look a little scruffier.” Jared jumps in. “I could do some work with his sideburns too and --”

“Leave the sideburns.” John interrupts. “But yeah, Jensen, don’t shave tomorrow and we’ll see how the look goes.”

Jensen nods and Jared’s glad that John takes his idea.

“How long will you need before shoots, Jared?” Dave asks.

“Every two weeks I’ll need to touch up the hair and tattoos, which will take me around three hours. Other than that, I’ll need about an hour before scenes and I can do touchups throughout the day. In the scene where Jensen has his shift off, I’ll need a couple of hours… unless I have an assistant help me.”

Dave nods, eyes focused on Jensen again. “No assistant. First call is at eight o’clock tomorrow.”

Damn. It’ll probably take five hours to do all of that himself, but Jared can’t complain. “Sounds good.”

John’s been rubbing his chin, staring at Jensen up and down and then snaps his fingers, “I know what’s missing. Give him black nail polish and we’ll be all set. Thanks guys, great job. See you tomorrow. Jensen, let me know if you need anything.”

The group leaves the trailer and Jared almost collapses onto the counter. Thank god that’s over. He’s so thankful that it went well.

“Can I go now?” Jensen asks, stretching as he stands up.

“Yeah. I just need to take a couple pictures of you first, so I have something to reference to if the tattoos come all the way off.” Jared grabs the camera and snaps a few shots, first some close ups and then at different angles. “You want me to take the makeup off for you? It’ll only take a few minutes.”

Jensen shakes his head, “I’m just gonna shower.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

The door slams shut when Jensen leaves.

Jared pats himself on the back.

The next day goes fairly well. Jensen shows up wearing sunglasses and earphones again. Jared lets him get away with it until he’s done styling Jensen’s blue hair up in short messy spikes.

“Wow,” Jared says as he removes the sunglasses, “You get any sleep last night?”

Jensen answers with a big yawn.

“No worries, man. Covering up dark circles is sorta my specialty.”

Jared pulls out the nail polish though, figuring he better do it now so it’ll have plenty of time to dry. He lifts himself onto the counter between Jensen’s legs and reaches for his hand.

“So did you learn all your lines?” He asks, resting Jensen’s hand on his knee. Jared can feel the warmth from Jensen’s palm sinking through the denim of his jeans.

“I guess.”

Jared starts to carefully paint Jensen’s fingernails with steady concentration. His hands are small in comparison to Jared’s but they’re strong, a little rough in patches of callused skin on the bottom and all smooth on top. “That’s cool. I bet its pages of dialogue, huh? Being just you and Brent… I can’t imagine how long the script is of just dialogue.”

“Yeah.”

The frustration of Jensen only saying one or two words back to him is really starting to wear on Jared’s nerves. He’s about to call him out on the whole gay thing when the trailer door opens.

“Hey guys!” Trish rushes in with a big cup of coffee. “You need anything?”

“No I think we’re fine --”

“Good because I have a million things to do. Jensen, here’s your coffee – oh.” Trish stops when she sees the wet nail polish. “Well I’ll just leave it on the counter. See you on set in about thirty minutes. Don’t be late ‘cause John’s already on a war path and everything is running on schedule and he doesn’t want to fall behind. See ya.” And with that, she’s out the door.

Jensen immediately goes for the coffee and Jared pushes on his chest so he falls back into the seat. “You smudge that polish and I’ll kill you.”

“If you don’t let me have that coffee, I’ll kill _you_.”

It turns into a staring contest and Jared is sure he sees a smirk on Jensen’s face, even if his green eyes really do look like they’re about to lunge daggers at Jared if he doesn’t give up the coffee.

“Okay, okay. Just be careful. That’s all I ask.”

Jensen gives a little moan when the cup hits his lips and he visibly relaxes.

“Can I finish your other hand now or should I wait till you’re done?” _Having sex with the coffee_ … is what Jared really wants to say, but he holds his tongue.

Jensen slides his hand onto Jared’s knee, a little higher up until he spreads his fingers out to span Jared’s thigh.

Jared doesn’t say anything and starts to paint. He’s glad that Jensen seems to be less tense today. Maybe it’s because he knows what to expect, doesn’t have a fear that Jared will pluck at his eyebrows or something. Jared glances at Jensen’s knuckles, no longer a sickly pale lined with trepidation.

Progress.

  


  
It doesn’t take long to finish the rest of Jensen’s makeup, having to add extra foundation under his tired eyes. When they’re done, Jensen leaves to go wardrobe and Jared gets his own cup of coffee from the thermos he brought in his bag.

It’s quiet in the trailer and Jared finds himself trying to stay awake. The last few days have been hell and even though everything went okay, it had still been stressful. He’s pleased though, knowing that his past jobs have all given him the experience to be working on a set of a major production. It’s a good feeling of accomplishment and the confidence is brewing deep, building steadily and Jared knows he’d be able to handle anything that the producers ask him to do.

Jared stands up, stretches to wake up a little. He’s due on the set in ten minutes and he’s not really sure where it is. It’s dorky, but Jared fills a fanny pack with everything he would need to touch up Jensen’s makeup for the day and straps it around his waist. Never mind that it’s pink. It’s big and there’re tons of compartments for brushes. He grabs his coat, scarf and hat before he leaves and starts a path down through the woods, passing various crew members as he goes.

If it wasn’t for the buzz of conversation in the distance, Jared would think he was in the middle of a forest right now. The trees are dense and tower over him, providing a chilly shade. The smell of pine is fresh along the dirt path, crisp in the air and it’s all very refreshing. This would be a great place to go for a hike if it weren’t for dozens of people shouting things about film and sound along the way.

The cabin is packed with people when Jared gets there and while it’s big, with enough crew members crammed all into a tiny space, the area seems half the size. He goes to the back and plants himself there, pulling out his phone for a little Tetris. It’s not until Jensen walks in does Jared look up and damn, what a sight he sees.

Jensen’s wearing black combat boots and navy work pants with chains hanging from the belt loops along with a studded belt around his waist. The black t-shirt is tight across his torso and says _Gangbang_ on the front. One of his wrists has a thick leather bracelet around it, the other a leather watch and there’re silver rings on his middle finger and thumb. With the blue hair and charcoal around his eyes, he looks amazing. Then he picks up a worn leather jacket and slips it on. It clings to his arms and tapers at the waist.

God _damn_ , the man is fine.

Jared breaths in nice and deep, letting the appreciation of Jensen’s look wash over him. Aside from a t-shirt change with other various obnoxious and slightly offending sayings, this is what Jensen will be wearing for the next ten or twelve weeks, at least.

“All right people, five minutes until we start shooting. Everyone quiet. Jensen can you go see Jared about those smudges on your face? Brent, I need you for sound over here.” John yells out and Jared perks up when he hears his name.

“Hey, Jensen. You look really good.” Jared rolls his eyes right after it comes out of his mouth. Lame.

When he comes closer, Jared can see there’s a fake piercing in the center of Jensen’s chin and wide plugs in his earlobes. He can also see there’re smudges of makeup down Jensen’s cheekbone.

“What happen?”

“I accidentally rubbed my eye.”

“Damnit.”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay. Just stay still.” Jared takes a wet wipe from his fanny pack and blots Jensen’s skin, not wanting to take off more of the foundation than needed.

“You think you can fix the piercing too?” Jensen points at his chin, “It feels off center.”

“I’ll call wardrobe for you.” Jared murmurs as he relines Jensen’s lashes with black shadow.

“No that’s okay. I just – I mean, can you do it?”

Jared pulls back so he can see Jensen’s eyes, “If you want me to. I haven’t done this before though, I don’t really know--”

“Can you figure it out?” Jensen interrupts.

Jared doesn’t want to start asking questions but he tilts his head, wondering what’s going on until Jensen stutters out an explanation.

“Tim, the wardrobe assistant, he’s just kinda…” Jensen swallows thickly, “Handsy.”

“Handsy? What the hell does that mean?” Jared asks, pulling out a stick of eyelash glue.

Jensen doesn’t say anything, just stares at Jared like he should know.

“Oh. Okay then.”

The whole thing instantly rubs Jared the wrong way. It pisses him off and it’s not like Jensen needs protecting or anything, but he’s clearly upset. Jared glances around the room, trying to see if he can figure who this Tim kid is, maybe have a little discussion about professionalism in the work place. Not like Jared has much room to say anything, talking about dick on the first day. But talking about cock and trying to cop a feel is completely different. He can imagine it clearly, wanting hands lingering just a little too long on Jensen’s body. Not cool.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jensen says, stepping closer to Jared, “It’s just annoying.”

“Want me to say anything?”

Jensen narrows his eyes, now irritated. “It’s the first day. If it happens again, I will.”

“’Kay. Just tryin’ to look out.”

“Don’t. I can take care of myself.” Jensen nearly spits with anger.

Jared raises his hands in defeat, “Won’t bring it up again.” He puts anti-germ sanitizer on his hands and says, “They’re clean,” as he wiggles his fingers in front of Jensen’s face and pulls down his bottom lip. “I’m gonna have to…” The magnet holding the piercing in place comes out and Jared holds the small spike between his other fingers as he puts a drop of glue on it. “There, that should make it more secure.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure. Just one more thing and I’ll let you go.” Jared says as he unscrews a cap of lip balm.

Jensen frowns as he looks at the small container.

“Don’t worry, it won’t make you girly. Your lips are just a little dry.” Jared reaches to press the balm to Jensen’s plump lower lip with his index finger. Just the thought of touching his mouth sends tingles down Jared’s spine, until Jensen grabs the stick and applies it to his own lips.

“I can do it myself.”

Disappointment sweeps through Jared. Jensen basically told him to go screw himself in the small action. That, or as Jared suspected, Jensen might’ve just remembered that he doesn’t want a gay dude touching him.

Great.

Jared doesn’t really have time to think about how Jensen is an ass, anything about that Tim guy, or even the fact that Jensen said more than two words to him, because in the course of the next couple of hours Jared meets the other key makeup artist, Gina, and her assistant for Brent and other minor actors. The girls seem nice and they both start asking him tons of questions about the movies he has worked on and if he knows any famous people.

By lunch time, the lighting and sound guys all surround him at one of the picnic tables and Jared spends most of the hour trying not to snort chocolate milk out of his nose.

When he fills up on coffee, Trish is standing next to the cream and sugar doing the same.

“Hey! How’s it goin’?”

Jared shrugs, “Pretty good. I think Jensen might be a homophobe,” He blurts out, cringing at himself and looking around to see if anyone overheard.

“Doubt that.” Trish shakes her head.

“Really? Why?”

“Because,” She takes a big gulp of coffee and then adds more sugar, “Because David’s brother is visiting the set today and I heard them all talking over lunch about his wedding and the honeymoon and Jensen seemed totally fine with it.”

Jared wants to wait for more information but it doesn’t come. “So what the hell does the mean?”

“David’s brother is gay, Jared. And Jensen was all into looking at the pictures and not even caring, asking questions about where they stayed in Hawaii and all that crap.”

“Hmm. Well maybe he was just trying to be polite because he didn’t want to offend David.”

“That’s not something you can really fake. He could’ve just made an excuse and walked away from the conversation, but he didn’t. He seemed totally comfortable with it.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Why do you say that he’s a homophobe? Are you guys not getting along?”

“It’s hard to say. It’s only the second day, right? Maybe he just needs to warm up to me.”

“Maybe he’s just an asshole.” Trish points out, “I mean, seriously… how could anyone not like you of all people?”

“I am pretty awesome.” Jared laughs and almost spills coffee down the front of his shirt, “Shit, I gotta be back on set in five. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Trish waves and Jared passes the table where Jensen is sitting with David, and someone he’s never seen before, which he assumes is David’s brother. Trish was right; Jensen is totally at ease and even smiling.

Well at least he’s talking to someone. In a way, Jared kind of wishes it was him. He knows he can be overwhelming sometimes, and loud and even annoying. And sure, Jensen did tell him about that sleazy guy in wardrobe, but he’s sure Jensen has had to deal with people like that before too, especially working in this business, and knows how to handle himself.

The rest of the day goes smoothly and Jared finds it all a little boring. He has to stand in the back, stay quiet as hell, and not really move a lot because that’d cause noise. Since Brent and Jensen are mostly just delivering dialogue to each other, there’s not a lot Jensen can do to mess up his hair or face so Jared just applies more foundation to Jensen’s T zone and makes small adjustments when they call for a break.

David wraps it up early because there’s something wrong with the lighting, and he lets Jensen and Brent go for the day.

“Did you want me to take your makeup off or are you gonna hit the shower back at the hotel?” Jared asks, gathering up all of his stuff from the set.

Jensen hesitates, moves away a little and then takes a deep breath, almost like he just made a very important decision. “Actually Brent and I are going to dinner from here and gonna run through some lines. So yeah, do you mind?”

“Not at all. That’s kinda what I’m here for.” Jared smiles as they make their way back to the trailer and is pleased when Jensen returns it. The air is cold once they get inside and he flips the small space heater on.

“It’s freezing in here.” Jensen whispers, shoving his hands in front of the heat and sitting down.

Jared pushes the heater closer to him. “Sorry, I never know when we’re going to wrap so I can’t let it warm up.”

“S’okay,” Jensen mumbles.

Jared takes out the cotton and makeup remover, glances at his watch and is excited to see that he’ll actually get a chance to try out the hotel’s gym tonight. He’s been so busy and preoccupied with setting up; he has completely ignored his very rigid workout routine.

“You’re a really good actor.” Jared blurts out, but he says it truthfully as he takes Jensen’s face in his hands, smoothing wet cotton across his cheek. Jared’s been watching and Jensen doesn’t suck like Jared thought he might.

Jensen looks up, expression carefully guarded, “You sound surprised.”

“Not surprised. Just stating a fact. Close your eyes.” Jared sweeps the cotton over his closed eyelid. Jensen doesn’t pull away or seem uncomfortable at all and that’s such a good thing.

“Well, thanks.”

The words are really quiet and Jared almost misses it. “Welcome. There, all done. You’ll still have some liner around your eyes until you scrub your face.”

“Thanks,” Jensen says louder and takes a quick look in the mirror, “See you later.”

Jared nods and starts to clean up the counters, getting ready for tomorrow. He turns off the heater and lights, locks the door as he leaves and heads to his rented truck. The path through the trailers is muddy and the clouds are rolling again. He’s anxious to get to the hotel, workout and slip into bed. He probably should call his mom and dad too, let them know he’s alive and survived his first few days on set.

His thoughts are going a mile a minute as he spots Jensen getting into a black SUV with Vince, a huge guy who Jared had seen hanging around the studio. He’d been wondering who that guy was, not entirely sure what Vince did and now it clicks that he’s Jensen’s driver and possibly his bodyguard too.

Jared ends up driving all the way to the hotel right behind the SUV and hangs back as he watches Jensen and Vince both head into the hotel, but turning left to the restaurant instead of towards the elevators. Ignoring the start of hunger pains and images of French fries and apple pie, Jared decides to go to his room and grab his running shoes.

After an hour and a half, Jared is sweating buckets and has thoroughly worked every muscle in his body. He feels good, feels like himself again with his thoughts in order. Now all he wants in a warm shower and some room service.

Jared pulls his room key out of his sock as he walks down the long hallway on the fifth floor, all the way to the end to room eleven.

“Jared. Hey.”

He turns and sees Jensen and Vince standing by room door six, “Hi, Jensen. Ya’ll on this floor too?”

“I am. Vince has a house a couple miles away.”

“Oh.”

Vince sticks his hand out for Jared to shake, “Don’t think we’ve officially met.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Jensen’s eyes linger at the sweat lined along the V of Jared’s gross old t-shirt. “Looks like you had a good workout.”

“Yeah,” Jared breathes out, not prepared for the softness of Jensen’s voice, the slight insecurity in his posture. In an instant, Jared knows that Jensen’s not the asshole he’s making himself out to be. He just can’t figure out why someone would put on that persona. “Actually I’m pretty disgusting right now so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Jared.” Jensen says, gaze finally dropping to the key in his hand.

“Night,” Vince nods and follows Jensen inside, the door shutting heavily as it closes behind them both.

Jared stares, his mouth hanging open because now he’s really confused.

He was hired as Jensen’s personal makeup artist and okay, so maybe that’s not completely crazy. But for Jensen to have private security too, to drive him to and from set and to escort Jensen all the way into his room was just strange. Would Vince spend the night in Jensen’s room? Did he wait at the restaurant for him as well?

It’s all very weird but Jared doesn’t have enough energy to figure it out right now.

He sleeps well that night and doesn’t dream at all.

The next week goes by pretty much the same way. Jared doesn’t see Jensen in the hotel before he leaves to go to the set, probably because he leaves thirty minutes earlier to get everything ready to go for the day.

But he does run into Jensen coming back from the gym or just because they leave the set at the same time in the evenings. Vince always goes into Jensen’s room and if he stays the night, Jared’s not sure.

Jensen still really doesn’t say much to him during the day, comes to makeup with a script in hand, and Jared figures he has lines to learn anyway. So he hums under his breath and tries not to distract Jensen while he covers his face in bronzer.

Except on Friday when Jared realizes that Jensen’s nails are chipped and that’s just not sexy on anyone. He gently takes the script away and rests Jensen’s hand on his knee again. The actor doesn’t say anything but he looks at Jared expectantly.

“So can I ask you something?” Jared asks. He focuses his gaze on Jensen’s nails.

“Shoot.”

“Is that Tim in wardrobe still being… handsy?”

“No.”

“Oh,” Jared nods and keeps looking down, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Jensen sighs, shifts in the seat but is careful not to move his hand. “I asked Brent about it and he was acting the same way with him, so it wasn’t just me. I was just being paranoid. As usual.”

“You don’t seem that paranoid,” Jared lies, “You just have a lot of defenses up.”

“Is that right?” Jensen cocks his head, his tone between surprise and irritation.

Jared winks and gives a slow smile, maybe with just a hint of flirtation, “Mhmm. S’okay though. I kinda like a good challenge.”

Jensen doesn’t take the bait and rolls his eyes. “Are we done yet?”

“Done. Just don’t touch anything for ten minutes.”

“Damn you.” Jensen mutters under his breath, staring longingly at the opened script.

“Want me to read lines with you?” Jared doesn’t wait for an answer before he picks it up.

“Not really.”

“But it’s a good script. I didn’t even get to read how it ends.”

Jensen gets up from the chair and snaps the book back, “We both die.”

“For real?”

“Idiot,” Jensen rolls his eyes again and leaves the trailer, shaking his head like Jared’s the stupidest person to ever live.

Right around two o’clock in the afternoon, Jared gets really sleepy. It’s cloudy, but not too cold, and he has been up since six in the morning. If he has any more coffee, there’s a very good possibility that he’ll start to poop coffee beans and he kicked his Red Bull addiction last year, so it’s not a good idea to start sipping on any kind of energy drink.

He finds himself trying not to doze off, his eyelids heavy and wanting to close so bad, as Jensen’s working a scene.

“Hey, Jared?”

Luckily John is reading paperwork as he walks up and Jared is able to sit up straighter, fighting off a vigorous yawn.

“Hi, John, what’s up?”

John pushes up the glasses on his nose and keeps reading, not even giving Jared a courtesy glance, “Did you notice if they sent over any special effects makeup in one of the boxes?”

“Um…” Jared tries to think back to when he unpacked. “Yeah, I think so. There’s some -- “

“Great.” John finally looks up and closes the notebook, “Jensen needs a bloody nose for the next scene. You think you can handle that?”

“Yeah, sure, of course. How strong of a flow did you want?” Jared asks enthusiastically. Finally he’d get to do something a little different. This would be awesome. Maybe he could put it on his resume since special effects is exactly what he wants to get into.

“Not too much. Just a couple of drops will work.”

“Okay. Can you tell Jensen to meet me back at the trailer when he’s done with the scene? I have to find where I put the box of fake blood.”

John nods and starts to walk back to the cabin. “It’ll be about fifteen minutes.”

Jared practically skips to the trailer, now wide awake. He’ll need a small rubber hose, a plastic syringe, and he hopes that the blood in the kit is really thick so it’ll trickle instead of gush out of Jensen’s nose.

It takes a good five minutes to find the small box that Jared had shoved in the back of one of the cabinets. It has everything he’ll need though, and he begins to fill the syringe with the thick, red, gooey liquid.

The trailer door opens and Trish stands on the step, not bothering to come in. “John says we’re losing light and wants you to come now. You got everything you need?”

“Uh…” Jared grabs the entire box, just in case something doesn’t go right, “Yeah, let’s go.”

They hurry back to set and Jensen seems ready for Jared, expecting to be guided out of the way and doesn’t bitch when a rubber hose is shoved up his nose.

“It’ll only take a few seconds for it to start to drip. You’ll feel it come down your nostril,” Jared explains, injecting the fake blood. “And whatever you do, don’t sneeze. That would seriously be gross. And this stuff is sticky, doesn’t come off real easily either.”

Jensen leans his head all the way back as Jared guides him back to his mark. Jared doesn’t really have time to think about it, but he places his hands around Jensen’s waist as they walk and Jensen _lets_ him, which is just… _weird_.

Then Jensen jerks away from Jared’s hold as soon as they stop and Jared nods to himself. Yep. That’s more like it.

Jared’s right there though, with plenty of tissue, when Jensen is done with the scene.

It might not be a part of his job, but Jared doesn’t mind.

The next morning Jared checks over the tattoo’s and Jensen’s roots.

“We’re gonna have to get here early tomorrow morning,” He says, raking his fingers through Jensen’s hair freely. “I have to dye your hair again and touch up the tattoos.”

“Okay,” Jensen’s eyes are closed and his mouth is parted, head bent and neck loose for Jared to keep it up.

“Your hair grows like freakin’ weeds, man.”

“I know.”

Jared smiles and gives Jensen one more pat on the shoulder before getting the airbrush. “And you know in a couple days we’re gonna have to do the tattoos on your chest and back, right?”

Jensen sighs deeply, “Yeah.” He takes his iPod out and puts the earphones in. His foot taps to the beat though, so Jared at least knows he’s in a good mood.

It’s nice, when Jensen’s in a good mood. Jared doesn’t feel like he’s on pins and needles or having to watch everything he says. He can be himself, make jokes and goof around.

Something’s still seems off though and Jared can’t quite put his finger on it. Jensen’s definitely not a homophobe. There are plenty of gay guys working on the set, and Jared’s seen him be friendly with all of them. In fact, Jensen seems to talk to everyone openly except him. Okay, so Jensen’s talking more and more every day, but it’s not the same. Like two days ago, when Jared was hanging around after lunch, he overheard Jensen and one of the sound guys having a discussion about football. When Jared tried to join the conversation, Jensen just kind of… left.

It was awkward.

 _Baby steps_ , Jared has to remind himself.

It’s very quiet around the trailers at six thirty in the morning. The mud sticks to Jared’s boots and he can see his breath in a cold white cloud right under his nose every time he breathes.

Jensen is due on set in about thirty minutes and it gives Jared a chance to set up before he gets here. Hopefully, the whole tattoo situation will go smoother this time. Yesterday Jared could tell that the lines were fading around Jensen’s neck and it shouldn’t take long to touch up. Jensen’s been showing progress with allowing Jared to get closer to him, but today will be the real test.

Right on time and the trailer door swings open. Jensen looks more awake then he has in the past few days and Jared gives a warm smile for a greeting.

It isn’t returned. Jared inwardly groans.

At least Jensen doesn’t tense when Jared squeezes his shoulders and slides long fingers through Jensen’s hair, parting it for the blue dye. He doesn’t flinch when Jared touches his face. He doesn’t move away when Jared reaches for the black ink.

Jensen does, however, throw another hissy fit when Jared tells him to take his shirt off.

And Jared’s been so good at keeping his cool, watching everything he says, so careful not to piss Jensen off. He doesn’t know how the heated argument even started.

“Can’t you just spray above the shirt?”

“Not without making a mess. I guess I just don’t get what the big deal is. Care to fill me in?”

“No.”

Jared sighs, frustrated, and mumbles under his breath, “Okay, Mariah.”

Dead silence fills the trailer and Jensen glares so hard Jared’s sure his eyeballs are going to pop out of his head.

“What’d you just call me?”

“… Nothing.”

“You just called me Mariah. _Seriously_?”

Jared winces, mentally beats himself up for not being able to keep calm, letting Jensen so easily get under his skin. Hell, even in the interview for this job John had mentioned how he liked that Jared was so laid back, uncomplicated, and good with people.

Yeah, Jared’s really great at putting people at ease. Especially skittish actors who don’t want to take of their shirts.

“Look, I’m sorry.”

Jensen is still glaring and Jared can’t help it.

“But you are acting kinda like a diva.”

Jared’s sure that Jensen’s going to bitch him out, maybe tell John or David that he mouthed off to him, but he just rolls his eyes and takes off his shirt.

The black ribbed tank top makes a second appearance and Jared’s irritation wilts a little. Obviously Jensen has issues. Now he feels bad for acting like a dick.

Jared grabs the ink and rolls a stool over so he can sit right next to Jensen. It’s a little uncomfortable and before Jared touches him, he takes a deep breath.

“I shouldn’t have called you a diva. I’m sorry.”

“Just--” Jensen closes his eyes and cracks his neck, “Spray me or whatever it is they pay you to do.”

Jared wonders if he can make it up to Jensen. Would buying him a Mariah Carey CD be too much?

Probably.

A few hours later Jared is outside taking inventory of his pink fanny pack, wondering where the hell one of his good brushes has gone when there’s a huge crash in the cabin. He jogs through the door, pushing his way through assistants until he gets to the main room where there’s a fallen light fixture right in the center.

David shouts out for Brent and Jensen to move the hell out of the way and then hollers, “Jared, I know this isn’t in your job description but you think you can give us a hand?”

Jared just nods, glances in Jensen’s direction to make sure he’s okay, and squats down to help lift the huge piece of equipment up. He strains his muscles, immediately gets sweaty at his brow as he helps maneuver it outside with five other big guys.

As soon as the fixture is down, Jared pulls off his flannel button up, leaving him in just a worn tank top, and wipes wet hair from his forehead. _Jesus_ that was one heavy sonovabitch to carry.

Everyone else hurries back inside to clean up the mess and broken glass. Jared glances around as he knots the flannel sleeves around his waist and catches Jensen’s gaze which is almost…

Hungry.

 _Wanting._

Jared’s dick practically jumps in his pants when Jensen licks his lips, slowly, his eyes fixated on Jared’s biceps as if he were in a trance.

It would be a complete accident if Jared flexed, only for a few seconds, just to get a reaction.

It was worth it.

Jensen snaps out of it, turns away quickly and stalks back into the cabin. Jared caught the pissy expression on his face and wonders if Jensen is upset that he was caught.

Maybe he was just admiring Jared’s awesome muscles from afar, possibly wanting to revise his workout routine.

That had to be it.

During the next week, Jared actually gets into watching the filming. Brent and Jensen really work well together and have a certain kind of chemistry that’s rare to witness. When he can’t see or hear what’s going on Jared reads the script that Jensen leaves with him when he hurries off after getting touched up.

The story, _Cabin Confessions_ , revolves around Brent and Jensen’s characters equally. Brent plays a smart guy, father to three girls and is a cutthroat lawyer, who’s contemplating a divorce. He’s kind of a jerk in the movie, way too uptight, wears an Armani suit and slicks his dark, short hair back. He’s actually pretty hot, in and out of character, Jared decides.

But then there’s Jensen: sarcastic, tattooed punk, street smart, struggling rock star who just got out of rehab. Jensen’s character has a kickass girlfriend who stayed by his side the whole time. At the end of the movie, he proposes to her. Brent’s character stays with his wife and tries to be a better dad.

At the start of the movie, the audience finds out that both of the men were adopted at birth, strangers until they meet at a cabin they learn about in a letter that was written to them by an anonymous sender.

Throughout the scenes they realize that they were both adopted and the cabin belonged to their birth father. The brothers, two completely different people, take time to learn about each other and between sharing about their experiences, the other gains insight about their own life.

It’s not horror or action, but it’s one of those movies that leave the audience thinking about what could’ve been if there was even the slightest change in how one were to grow up and how completely different the outcome might have been. It’s interesting to think about.

If Jared’s dad hadn’t been such a sci-fi freak, he probably would have never gotten into special effects and wouldn’t be here, working towards his dream.

Slowly, but surely.

“Hey,” Jensen startles Jared from his thoughts and the script, “I think there’s something in my eye.”

Jared stands up and guides Jensen to an open area where there’s some good light. He cups Jensen’s chin with both hands splayed over his neck, “Which one?”

“Right,” Jensen’s blinking rapidly now, water quickly producing in his right eye.

Jared steps closer to Jensen, tilts his head and gently pulls at the delicate skin around his nose and temple. “I don’t really see anything.”

Jensen pushes away and scowls, “That doesn’t mean something’s not in there.”

“Okay, okay. C’mere,” Jared pulls Jensen back by his shoulder, puts his hand on Jensen’s face to try again, “Such a baby sometimes.”

“Not a baby,” Jensen murmurs.

Jared tries to hold a smile while he blows gently in Jensen’s eye. “Ah. I see it. Hold still.” He reaches in his fanny pack with one hand, keeping the other on Jensen. The offending eyelash is lifted with a cue tip and Jensen almost rubs at his eye before Jared can stop him.

“Don’t. You’ll smear all the eye shadow.”

Jensen gives a frustrated grunt and at first Jared thinks it’s because his eye really does itch, but then Jensen pulls out his cell phone from his pocket.

“Have you seen Vince around?” He asks.

Jared shakes his head, “Not for awhile.”

Glancing down at his phone that’s still vibrating, rather loudly, Jensen frowns. He looks over Jared’s shoulder, eyes searching.

“Looking for something?”

There’s that pissy face again and Jared’s becoming quite found of it.

“Why do you need Vince right now?”

“Take a guess.”

Jared puts his hand out. “I’ll hold on to it if you want.”

Jensen hesitates, scratches the back of his neck and turns when one of the director’s calls for him. “Shit.”

“I promise I won’t lose it, okay?” Jared gives his widest, cheesiest smile.

“It just keeps fucking vibrating.”

Jared nods and reaches for the phone, “Girlfriend calling?”

“My mom,” Jensen mutters grumpily and glares when Jared bursts out laughing. “Still doesn’t make me a baby.” He asserts as he walks back to set, but Jared is now almost certain there’s a hint of a smile on Jensen’s face.

The assistant director calls for quiet on the set and Jared steps outside for some fresh air. Now that he’s done reading the script, a lot of what he does is stand around. He’s a little anxious for the shooting to be done in and around the cabin so they can get to the built stages and at least he’ll have different scenery he can look at.

Jensen’s phone vibrates in Jared’s hand and he can’t help but smile when he sees MOM plastered on the screen. He tucks it into his pocket, happy that Jensen finally trusts him with such an important task. Well, after some persuading.

For the next hour the phone buzzes every fifteen minutes. In that hour, Jared debates what he could gain from answering it and possibly talking to Jensen’s mom just for a few minutes. Maybe he could get some insight on why Jensen is the way he is. Maybe get a better understanding and then _really_ , they’d be able to work with each other easier after Jared learns how to handle him.

It’s for the sake of the movie, really. A rational business decision. And if Jensen really does get pissed, what’s the worst that could happen? Jensen would still not talk to him?

He takes a split second to react, before he loses his nerve.

“Hello? Jensen’s phone.”

“Oh… is Jensen there?” There’s vague disappointment in the motherly tone, one that Jared has heard many times from his own mother when he won’t make it home for the holidays.

“Sorry, ma’am. Jensen’s is filming right now.”

“Oh. And you are?”

“I’m Jared, Jensen’s makeup artist.”

“Oh yes, Jared. Jensen’s told me about you.”

“Really?” Jared can’t help the surprise in his voice, “That’s… huh. Really?”

Jensen’s mom laughs softly into the phone, “Yes. I think he likes you. Jensen doesn’t have many friends, you know?”

Jared really doesn’t know. He also has no idea what to say.

“Being an actor is hard sometimes,” Jensen’s mom continues, “People tend to want the wrong things from him. Lord knows he paid his dues. Anyway, I’m rambling. Will you just tell him I called? It’s nothing too important. I’m just worried about him and we haven’t talked in awhile. I was just about to leave another threatening message to come all the way up to Canada if he doesn’t call soon.”

“Sure, Mrs. Ackles, I can do that.”

“Thanks, Jared, you’re a dear.”

Jared smiles and presses disconnect. A sinking-gut feeling makes his stomach turn as he replays what Mrs. Ackles said and his grin fades. Who wanted wrong things from Jensen? How did he pay his dues? What the hell happened to the guy? Only more questions and not nearly enough answers. So this is what it feels like to get nowhere fast.

Unfortunately there’s nothing he can do about it now, aside from reading Jensen’s text messages, but even Jared won’t go that far. Although, it is pretty tempting. For now he eyes Jensen’s iPhone and bites his lips, tries containing the mischievous grin.

First he programs his number in contacts under First Name: _Jared is sooo pretty_. Last Name: _I want to kiss him  
_  
Then he buys a ringtone of frogs croaking and programs it in.

And then he downloads the Impossible Quiz application for a dollar, knowing full well that it’ll take Jensen at least a few hours to figure it out that it’s even there.

When they wrap for the day, Jared hands Jensen his phone back and says, “Your mommy loves you.”

Jensen’s eyes grow wide, “You talked to her?”

“Dude, what if it was an emergency?”

“Well was it?”

Jared looks at his feet. “No.”

“I didn’t think so, ass,” Jensen shakes his head, hands on his hips, “What’d she say?”

“Just that she’s worried about you and that you haven’t called.” Jared gives his most apologetic frown, blinking slowly and sadly.

“That’s not fair,” Jensen points to Jared’s face. “And I’m not falling for it.”

Jared smiles stupidly at that. “Want me to take off the makeup tonight?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna shower at the hotel. I’m beat.” Jensen stretches, his tight t-shirt that says _Vagetarian_ on it, of all things, riding up almost to his bellybutton. There’s a really nice expansion of skin because his pants hang low around his hipbones, even with the black studded belt, and Jared has to force his gaze away.

“Hey.” Jared swallows thickly, arousal making his stomach twirl and tingle in the best way. “You wanna maybe grab some dinner?”

Jensen raises his eyebrows. “Can’t, Vince is waiting. Gotta go.”

Jared curses under his breath, scrubs his hands over his face and heads for the trailer.

That night, right after Jared hangs up with his mom from catching up, the phone rings again.

His breath catches when it’s a number he doesn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

“What the hell did you do to my phone?”

Jared grins, settles down into the king size bed and gets comfortable, “You don’t like the frogs?”

“Frogs are creepy,” Jensen huffs.

“Frogs are awesome,” Jared corrects. “Or is it just that you don’t find me pretty?”

“I find you a lot of things, but pretty ain’t one of them.”

“That’s okay,” Jared yawns loudly, “You can find me incredibly cute, handsome, smart, witty, charming—”

“Are you done?”

“Strong, buff, a good cook, awesome in bed, pretty good at basketball--”

“ _Jared_.”

“Okay, okay. I’m done, just had to get my point across.”

There’s a rustling sound and Jared pictures Jensen getting into bed, “Is there anything else you did to my phone?”

“Mmm … no.”

“Are you lying right now?”

“… No.”

“God,” Jensen moans, “Am I gonna wake up to screeching lizards or something?”

“No.” Jared laughs, “And I’m pretty sure lizards don’t screech. Did you call your mom back?”

“Yeah…” Jensen trails off and then, “She said you sounded nice.”

“I am nice.”

“That’s debatable.”

It’s then that the weirdness of talking to Jensen on the phone gets to Jared. They’re literally right down the hall from each other, not even two minutes away. They had just spent the entire day together, not to mention almost every day for the past three weeks, and this is the most Jensen has talked to him ever.

“Hey,” Jared tries to go for smooth, “Is Vince still there?”

Jensen pauses and then, “No. Why would he be?”

“Just wondering. So your mom said I sound nice, huh?”

“She’s obviously delusional.”

“I think your mom is the smartest person I know,” Jared says seriously.

“You don’t know that many people.”

Jared grins, enjoying the banter, and gets out of bed for a glass of water. “I know exactly who I need to know. No more, no less.”

“Mmm,” Jensen stifles another yawn and Jared’s sure that’s the end of the conversation. But then Jensen surprises him again by asking, “What’re you doin’?”

“Gettin’ some water.”

“Did you workout today?”

“I did.” Jared answers, “You should come with me sometime. They have a pretty decent weight center.”

“Maybe.”

“Really? You want to? Sometime next week?”

There’s hesitation and Jared wishes he hadn’t pressed his luck.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Look, I’ll see you in the morning. I gotta read some lines and get some sleep.”

“Okay. Night, Jensen.”

Jared has a horrible time getting to sleep, finally jerks off thinking about an ex-boyfriend, and dreams in and out all night.

  


  
“This is way too early. And I hate you.”

Jared lets out a huge yawn. “I brought coffee, you want some?”

“Hell yes. Gimmie.”

“Whoa there, buddy. You gotta promise me something first.”

“What?” Jensen pulls back from the thermos and crosses his arms over his chest. He really does look sleepy and Jared can’t comprehend how completely adorable he is.

God, he has to stop thinking about Jensen in ways that he shouldn’t. Today’s going to be hard enough as it is.

“You can’t be whiny today.”

“Screw that,” Jensen frowns fiercely.

“Okay, great,” Jared claps his hands, his smile dripping with sarcasm, “Bribery worked.”

“Can we just get on with it?” Jensen glares but as soon as Jared waves coffee in front of his nose, he settles down, “God that’s good.”

Jared grins, pleased, “Made in my special coffee machine with special coffee. Pretty awesome, huh?”

“Very, amazingly awesome,” Jensen sighs with contentment, “And fine, I won’t bitch.”

“Perfect.” Jared’s plan had worked. “Now take your shirt off.”

Jensen’s about to protest but shuts his mouth. He briefly closes his eyes, cringes a little before he sets his coffee cup on the counter.

For the life of him, Jared can’t figure out why. Jensen has a great body, especially with those faded jeans almost hanging off his waist. He’s beautiful, his skin smooth and soft, muscles hard and firm, and – oh.

There’s a long, jagged scar running from the side of Jensen’s nipple all the way down his stomach.

“Jesus, Jensen.” Jared reaches out to run his fingers down the raised skin, the path darker than the rest of Jensen’s chest. “Did you have surgery or something?”

“No,” Jensen shivers uncontrollably at Jared’s touch, “Do you think you can cover it up?”

Jared shifts his stare from Jensen’s broken skin and realizes this is what he’s been hiding all along, shamefully and embarrassed.

“Yeah, it should be no problem. I’ll see what I can do.”

Jensen lets out a breath he must’ve been holding, but his shoulders are still tense. Jared can tell he’d been nervous.

“Did I ever tell you that I never really wanted to be a makeup artist?” Jared asks, knowing a full ramble is about to produce to solely calm Jensen’s nerves. “I wanted to be in a play during my junior year of high school, ya know… to get out of biology class? And all the parts were taken so somehow I got stuck doing everyone’s makeup. I paid the price though; covering up a bunch of sixteen year olds zits - talk about gag fest. But I was good at it and I did it again senior year and in college and then it just kinda took off ‘cause it was the only thing I could do that was remotely fun and sorta in my field.”

“And what was it that you really wanted to do?” Jensen asks with interest.

Jared pulls the lever on the chair so Jensen’s almost laying flat on his back. He moves Jensen’s arm above his head and rests it there so it’s not in the way, and then begins to paint with a steady hand.

“I really want to get into special effects. Like _Aliens_ or _Star Trek_. I wanna use plaster and prosthetics, make someone completely transform into someone else. But I gotta get some education first. There’s this school in LA that I’m goin’ to after this movie wraps up. It’ll be the first time I won’t be working and that… I don’t know. It just scares me for some reason. I just hope I’m good at it.”

“You will be,” Jensen says, somewhat shyly yet confident as well, “I can tell.”

“Thanks.” Jared smiles softly at the sincerity. He grabs the stencil of a hawk and places it on Jensen’s ribcage now that the scar is invisible. The tan airbrush is switched out for one filled with black, long-lasting ink and he starts the first of a long process. “So tell me… did you always want to be an actor?”

Jensen scoffs and shakes his head. “I started out as a model, thanks to my mother. She entered me in this dumb contest at the local mall and I won.”

Even though Jared read about how Jensen started in the business on the internet, he laughs and tries to hide a smirk, “That is pretty lame.”

“Hey man, I was only seven. Not like I had much of a choice.”

“So model turned actor, huh? Sounds like a typical Hollywood story.”

“Trust me; I know how stupid it all is.” Jensen rolls his eyes, and then becomes serious. “But I like acting. It challenges me and makes me not so… reserved.”

“You? Reserved? No way,” Jared teases, “I thought that was just with me.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything, but his cheeks flush slightly. Jared keeps working and doesn’t press for anything more.

About an hour later Jared is done with Jensen’s arms and chest that are now covered in black ink shaped in various tribal tattoos.

Jared is about to tell Jensen that he’s done when he notices that Jensen’s is staring at his own chest in the mirror, wide eyed, studying up and down like his chest is shiny and brand new.

“Looks like it was never even there,” Jensen whispers, more to himself and he trails his fingers lightly down his stomach, tracing where the scar is now invisible.

Jared hates to disrupt the moment he’s having, but time is becoming a pressing factor. “Hey,” He says softly, “You ready for your back?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. Am I gonna have to stand the entire time?” Jensen asks.

Jared points to the chair and shakes his head, “Straddle it. And make it sexy.”

Awkwardly Jensen gets up, turns around and tries to sit without ruining any of wet ink.

Jared just stands and watches with amusement.

“Hey thanks for all the help, jackass.”

“You got it,” Jared says, unconcerned. “Just sit that pretty ass down and – oh.”

The muscles in Jensen’s back all stiffen tight under his skin as soon as Jared’s words fade. There’s another scar, this one sliced right across his spine, shoulder blade to shoulder blade.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jared doesn’t mean to ask. It’s really none of his business, but, at the same time, he can’t not say something. He can’t not take a step closer, bend to take a better look and process the broken picture of Jensen’s back. It’s startling the way it hits Jared like a ton of bricks; that Jensen is the way he is because he has a history. A traumatic, horrifying story if the scars are anything to go by. Jared imagines the worst; shark attack, exploratory surgery, car accident. Whatever could make two long shattered wounds like that must come with a past and it’s too bad that it would be rude to ask just so he can finally _know_ and be able to say the right things.

“Uh, yeah. I just… I just-- can’t. Look, I don’t want to really talk about it. You think you can cover that one up too?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I can.” Jared stands up quickly to his full height and hits his head on the open cabinet door. “Ow,” He winces at the pain and cups his forehead with his hand, “Am I bleeding?”

It breaks the tension and Jensen starts to laugh. “You’re too tall for this trailer.”

“I’m too tall for a lot of things,” Jared mumbles and pushes his bangs to the side as he looks in the mirror. “Shit. That’s gonna leave a mark.”

“Now who’s a baby?” Jensen gloats.

Jared sticks out his bottom lips and quivers.

“Aw, you girl. I’d try to comfort you right now, but ya know…” Jensen points to his chest. “I’m covered in all these burly tattoos.”

“That’s too bad.” Jared says, staring at Jensen in the mirror. They share a slow minute, one made just for them and it makes the air rush from Jared’s lungs. The sensation is intense and he knows that when he blinks it’ll be over, so he tries to hold on, wants nothing more than to make this last as long as possible.

But at the same time he’s scared shitless, that if he lets Jensen hold on with those green eyes, Jared will be taken and this small playful crush will turn into something big, real, and possibly grow out of his control.

“Knock, knock! Hey guys, how’s it going in here?” Trish’s voice cuts through the imaginary heat between the two men and whacks reality back into Jared, “Wow, looking good, Jensen.”

Jensen grins, masking it with cockiness, “Thanks.”

“Um, Jared, why is Jensen covered in powder?”

“It’s just talc to set the ink, Trish. Don’t worry, it’ll all come off.”

“Oh okay.” The panic in her face is replaced with relief, “Call time is in about forty-five minutes, you gonna be ready?”

Jared nods and glances at his watch, “Yep. No problem.”

“Great. I guess that--” Trish’s walkie-talkie goes off and she doesn’t bother to say good-bye, just shuts the door as she leaves.

“Are we really going to be ready in forty-five minutes?” Jensen asks.

Jared wants to tell him that probably not, just because he had to unexpectedly use so much extra time to cover up the wounds, but he doesn’t. Instead he turns up the heat when he sees Jensen’s naked skin cover in goose bumps and mumbles, “Maybe. Just shut up and don’t distract me.”

Twelve hours later Jared finds himself in trailer again, looking at Jensen’s tired reflection in the mirror.

“This has been one of the longest days of my life,” he says, “And I’m not even the one acting.”

Jensen can barely hold his eyes open. He’d been running around the cabin with his shirt off almost the entire day and fighting with Brent. For what reason, Jared doesn’t really know. He wasn’t really paying attention to the dialogue. He did notice when Jensen’s voice turned hoarse and his eyes started to glaze over. Jensen looked like he was about to collapse by the time they got to the trailer and he slipped a t-shirt on.

“You okay, man?” Jared quickly works a wet cotton ball over Jensen’s face, removing the foundation and bronzer.

“Tired.”

“I can understand that. I bet you’ll sleep damn good tonight. Like the dead. Like a zombie. Do zombies sleep?” He says, smiling at his own attempt for a dumb joke, “You and Brent did pretty awesome out there. Could tell ya’ll were actin’ your asses off.”

Jensen stifles a yawn, “Mmm.”

“The tats on your chest will fade when you use soap. I can take the ones of your back with baby oil if you want since we’re done with ‘em.”

“Tomorrow,” Jensen grunts and Jared rolls his eyes at the one word answers.

“Yeah okay, tomorrow,” He clasps Jensen’s shoulder with a good squeeze to let him know that he’s finished and they can go.

Except Jensen lets out this little moan at the contact, strains his neck to the side and cracks it. “God _damn_ , that feels good.” He breathes out, eyes closed and lips parted in pleasure.

“Yeah?” Jared briefly thinks that what he’s about to do is a very bad idea. He ignores the inkling and goes with it, slides both hands around Jensen’s shoulders and applies hard pressure again with his fingers, “That good?”

“Fuck,” Jensen chokes out, then sighs long and slow. “Yes.”

So Jared keeps it up, his fingertips tickling the nape of Jensen’s neck. His skin is warm and starting to flush at the collar of his shirt and Jared can feel the stress melt away from under his hands. They don’t talk, but it’s a comfortable silence, occasionally interrupted by a gasp from Jensen when Jared hits a tender sweet spot.

Jared moves to massage his spine and Jensen bites his bottom lip between his teeth and winces slightly. God, he had forgotten about the scar. Maybe it’s still sensitive.

“Shit. Sorry. Is that too hard?”

“No. S’good. Really good, actually.”

Jared takes that as a cue not to stop what he’s doing and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, this whole thing is turning him on. He wants to strip Jensen of that damn t-shirt he’s wearing and lean down casually, kiss across the back of his neck and lick at his earlobe, maybe bite at it a little. It’s completely inappropriate and Jared mentally quiets his dick down. He tries to keep his thoughts platonic and tries really hard to convince himself that kneading the sore muscles of a co-worker is a normal thing to do.

Normal if there’s an attraction.

And Jared’s is very, very, _very_ attracted to Jensen. God, the admission feels good, feels like relief.

A weird sound startles him and an almost sleeping Jensen is now wide awake and shifting in the chair to get at his pockets.

“What the hell is that?”

“You don’t recognize the frogs you programmed on my cell?” Jensen says as he pushes a button on his phone. “Hello? Hey, Vince. Yeah, we’re almost done. Probably another ten minutes. I’ll meet you at the car. Okay, bye.”

Jared gives one last friendly pat to Jensen’s back and moves to get his coat and keys. “You know, I could always drive you to the hotel too. You could tell Vince he can go home.”

Jensen rolls his shoulders as he stands up slowly and stretches, “Nah. That’s okay.”

It’s the first time Jensen waits for Jared to lock the trailer door so they can walk together towards the parking lot. They don’t speak, not even a good bye when they part to go into separate vehicles. Jared follows the truck Vince is driving all the way to the hotel and is confused when Vince parks, not understanding why Jensen just doesn’t jump out.

Jared is still thoroughly confused when they all get into the same elevator and go to the same floor and yet again, Vince disappears into Jensen’s room.

Like clockwork.

Jared doesn’t know why he would expect anything different from all the other nights he’d seen Vince go into Jensen’s room, but he did.

Putting the pieces together in this puzzle is harder than he thought.

The next day is uneventful.

Except for the part when Jared had to keep from coming in his shorts as he rubbed Jensen’s entire back with baby oil to get the tattoos off. Jensen greased up is _definitely_ a good look. The man is undeniably sexy and Jared has to suppress the hearty emotions that are beginning to form whenever they’re in close quarters, which is all the time.

Jensen also lets Jared put the chap stick on him today, which Jared considers a major achievement. Jensen’s lips are just as soft as Jared predicted and now Jared can’t keep a stupid smile off his face.

This crush, fascination, _obsession_ , whatever it is; Jared has to keep hold of it. There’s no indication that Jensen’s gay anyway or that he’d even go for a goof-ball like Jared. Even if Jensen were gay, he seems like he would go for someone more chill and not as hyper. Jared can do that too, be that person, but it’s rare.

When Jensen is safely dressed in wardrobe and they’re making their way to stage two, Trish almost runs directly into them.

“Hey guys! Good news. They’re having issues with the sound so looks like we’ll be wrapping early today and you guys don’t have to come in until Thursday.”

Jared shares a look with Jensen and gets a huge grin, “Woo hoo! Hell yeah!”

Jensen shakes his head at the outburst, amusement at the surface.

“Oh come on, you can’t pretend a day off doesn’t sound freakin’ awesome. Fuck, man. I’m gonna sleep all day long.”

“All day, huh?” Jensen grins.

“Uh huh. Hey, you wanna work out tonight since we get off early? Catch a little dinner?”

Jensen shrugs and says, “Sure.”

Jared does a little dance of success when he’s sure Jensen isn’t looking.

Watching Jensen grunt and sweat and stretch and squat for the last twenty minutes is _not_ doing anything helpful for Jared’s dick.

In fact, the whole production is seriously hurting Jared’s dick. _Physically hurting him_. And if he didn’t bang it out on the treadmill as hard as he could, he’d still have a stiffy under his sweatpants.

The gym is slow tonight, but there’re still enough people to gawk at Jensen as they pass, like they’ve never seen a guy with blue hair and tattoos at the gym before. There’s one guy in particular who’s been giving Jensen an evil eye, probably thinking that Jensen’s gonna pull out a gun and rob him or something. Because, ya know, those stinking socks on the dude’s feet look so worth stealing.

“You ready to go?” Jensen asks. His face is flush and warm from jumping rope.

“Yeah,” Jared stretches one last time to get the kink out of his back. “Hey what’s up with that dude over there?”

“Which one?” Jensen scans the gym until he lands on whom he knows Jared is talking about. “Oh that guy. Yeah, he always looks at me weird. Probably because of the hair. Or it could be the black fingernails.”

“People can’t have blue hair in Canada? What the hell is his problem?” Jared starts to get angry, can’t help the protectiveness he feels.

“C’mon, Jared. He just has sand in his vagina or something, just let it go.”

Jared is dumbfounded at the joke, and then breaks out in such a huge laugh that the entire gym stops at a halt to look over at him.

“Shhh. Come on.” Jensen pulls at Jared’s arm and leads them out of the large room, into the lobby.

“You can’t say shit like that and then tell me to shut up. God,” Jared’s still laughing. He knew Jensen had a sense of humor, but didn’t know he could be crude too. It’s an awesome thing to discover.

Jensen rolls his eyes at him and towels off his face. They’re both covered with sweat and Jared’s about to suggest that they have a shower and then send for room service when Vince walks up.

“Hey guys, good workout?”

“Yeah. I needed that.” Jensen answers.

Jared stares, wondering what the hell Vince is doing here at the hotel. Had he been waiting for Jensen this whole time? “Uh. Hey Vince. How’s it going, man? I thought they gave us the rest of the day off.”

Vince shrugs and looks at Jensen.

“Yeah, okay. Jared, how ‘bout we do that dinner another time? I’m gonna head up to my room.”

“Oh. Really?” Jared is so sure the disappointment is evident in his voice, and he wishes that he could hide it but he just can’t. He was really looking forward to spending time with Jensen outside of work.

“Yeah, man. I’ll catch ya later, cool?”

Jared continues to stand alone in the lobby, completely baffled, at least five minutes after Jensen is gone.

When he finally gets to his room, Jared jumps in the shower and thinks about maybe hitting a local bar or club. He doesn’t know his way around though, he’s really tired and seriously hungry and even though he can sleep in tomorrow, he just wants to eat and veg out.

The thing is he _knows_ Jensen is probably feeling the same way right now and Jared would rather be with Jensen than spending another night alone.

So before he can talk himself out of it, he picks up his phone and calls him.

Jensen answers on the third ring, “Hello?”

“Hey. You get a shower in yet?”

“Yeah,” He replies, “Just got out.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna get some dinner? I’m starved. I bet you are too, huh?”

Jensen hesitates and Jared can hear another voice in the room.

“Oh. Sorry. You have company or something?”

“No. Hold on. I just need to say bye to Vince.”

Jared doesn’t even try to figure out why Vince stayed while Jensen took a shower.

“I was thinking steak and potatoes,” Jared says when Jensen comes back on the line, “Maybe some broccoli otherwise my mama would get mad.”

“I just… I’m kinda tired, Jared. I don’t really feel like goin’ out.”

“Ever hear of room service? Wanna come to my room? We could watch the game while we’re at it. Or maybe even see if the pool is still open and go for a late night swim?”

“Um…”

“Or I could go to your room,” Jared says quickly, “Or not. I mean, we could just forget the whole thing. I just thought since we’re both alone and all…”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jensen finally agrees. “You can come to mine. No swimming though.”

Jared punches a fist in the air with victory. “Okay, that’s cool. I’ll see you in like, five minutes.” He says, trying desperately for casual.

He goes for a clean pair of grey sweat pants and a V black undershirt. The shirt’s a little tight on him and the pants are a little baggy so he’s in good shape. Jared just really doesn’t want to screw this up.

It takes a full minute for Jensen to open the door and for the first thirty seconds Jared’s not sure he has the right room. The last thirty seconds, Jared is sure that Jensen changed his mind and is telling him to fuck off in his own way.

“Hey.” Jensen opens the door and peers up and down the hallway before he hurries Jared in. He relaxes when the door closes and locks.

“Your room is bigger than mine,” Jared pouts, looking around the suite. “And it doesn’t smell like body odor, you damn lucky movie star.”

“Corner rooms are nicer in this hotel.”

“Obviously.”

“And I’m not a movie star.”

“Yet,” Jared steps out of his flip flops and sprawls out on the bed.

Jensen ignores him and picks up the room service menu, “You just want some steak?”

“Yes please. And beer.” Jared yawns and grabs the remote to change the channel. He makes himself comfortable in the middle of the bed while Jensen calls for the food, glancing at him fondly with a small smile.

“You all settled in?”

“This bed is way nicer than the one in my room. We might have to switch.”

Jensen shakes his head, “No way. Now scoot over.”

Jared smiles as he rolls his large body over, happy that Jensen would rather share the bed instead of sitting on one of those ugly chairs way over on the other side of the room.

It’s not weird or anything. Hell, it’d be strange if they couldn’t hang out. They’ve been working close together for the past six weeks now and they should be able to do this. To chill out and eat some bad hotel food.

The sexual tension, though. That’s what doesn’t fit into the equation. But Jared doesn’t care, doesn’t know if Jensen can feel it too and will try for the rest of the night to pretend it doesn’t matter.

They watch the game in silence, aside from Jared’s grumbling stomach, and honestly he doesn’t really even know what’s happening on the television. It’s absurd that he spends hours a day with Jensen, touching his face, getting to openly look at him from all angles, play with his hair, and it’s still not enough. Jared wants more. He wants to turn over and stare, memorize the green in Jensen’s eyes, touch the pattern of freckles under his finger.

It’s selfish, Jared understands that. But it’s what he wants most in the world right now and he doubts Jensen is willing to let him take it.

The food arrives and Jared is grateful for the distraction. He didn’t think it’d be this hard. _Literally._

“This looks really good, thanks man.” Jensen tips the hotel staff and rolls the cart further into the room.

Jared sits on the edge of the bed and digs in, “Nothing like a good steak. Reminds me of home.”

“Yeah? And where’s that? A farm?” Jensen teases as he pulls up a chair.

“Texas.” Jared says between a bite, “San Antonio.”

Jensen smirks like he knew it.

“What’s that look for?”

“I could just tell you’re a Texan boy from your accent. You live there now?”

“Actually I don’t live anywhere right now. After I got this job I sold my apartment in New York so I’d be forced to move out to LA when we wrap. I figure it’d be good motivation to really go back to school this time. But yeah, my parents live there so I guess I’ll always consider that home.”

“Wow,” Jensen raises his eyebrows, “Interesting.”

“What is?”

“My parents live in Dallas.”

Jared’s mouth spreads into a wide smile. “Do you live there now? You don’t have an accent.”

“My acting coach got rid of my accent when I was eighteen.” Jensen stares at his plate, “And no… I live in LA.”

“Right on! We’ll be seeing a ton of each other then.”

“Oh, joy.”

Jared leans back and laughs loudly. “Don’t worry; my awesomeness will grow on you… eventually.”

Jensen smiles and looks away again.

“Hey, you want one?” Jared grabs a beer and twists the top off, “Ice cold, man.”

“Nah. I don’t drink.”

“Seriously? Not even one?”

Jensen shakes his head, meets Jared’s gaze dead on. “No.”

“Okay, that’s cool.” Jared has never really met someone who doesn’t drink and has no idea if it’s rude to chug a beer right in Jensen’s face. He takes a sip, puts it down and decides to drink water for the rest of the night. Beer makes him gassy anyway and that might get embarrassing, “So um. Does Brent have a room at the hotel?”

“He’s staying at an apartment with a college friend or something. Some of cast will be staying here in a couple of weeks, I think, but just for a few nights since they only have a two or three scenes. Most of the crew lives in Vancouver.”

“That makes sense.” Jared’s glad that there wasn’t someone already living in Vancouver who could do this job. He’s lucky the production is putting him up in a hotel because otherwise he’d probably still be miserable in New York. But then again, not many people have as awesome of skill as he does. He shovels more food in his mouth and moans, “Damn dude, that workout made me so hungry.”

A little snort sound comes from Jensen.

“What?”

“I don’t know how you can eat like that and still look like… that.” Jensen eyes Jared up and down.

“Like what exactly?” Jared smirks.

“You sportin’ a C-cup now or are you a D-cup?”

Jared glares across the table, “Jackass. Don’t be hatin’ on my pectorals. And besides, I don’t eat that much.”

“I’ve seen bags of gummy bears hidden around the trailer.”

“Are you snooping through my makeup kit, Jensen?”

“You were in the bathroom and I was bored.”

Jared wipes his mouth with the napkin and falls back on the bed. “Okay. That’s fine. Just remember that payback’s a bitch.”

“Ohhh I’m shaking over here.” Jensen rolls his eyes and pushes the cart of empty plates into the hallway.

“Then come to the bed and let me warm you with my rippling pectoral muscles,” Jared makes his voice stupidly deep and opens his arms wide, knowing in a perfect world or perhaps a cheesy romance novel, Jensen would come running. Instead he laughs his ass off and Jared can’t help but to join him.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re one gigantic dork?”

“No, I’ve never heard that before. Please, make fun of me some more, it makes me all warm inside.”

They settle on the bed and Jared makes sure to keep a good distance. Jensen’s wearing these black jersey pants and a white t-shirt and Jared wonders how many people get to see him like this. This relaxed and lazy, all sleepy smiles and bright eyes.

“Games almost over,” Jensen says softly.

“That’s okay with me,” Jared snuggles more into the pillows, wants to keep Jensen talking so he can hear the sound of his voice, “I should probably go soon.”

“Yeah,” But it doesn’t sound like Jensen wants him to go. “We get to sleep in tomorrow.”

“It’s sad how exciting that is to us.”

Jensen yawns and gets more comfortable too until they lay side by side. “I usually don’t get much sleep.”

It doesn’t surprise Jared. “Is that why you’re always so cranky?”

“Hey. M’not cranky,” Jensen punches Jared in the arm and he’s quick to grab Jensen’s wrist in a loose hold, his fingertips pressing lightly on the delicate skin. Jared’s about to let go, thinks that maybe he went too far, when Jensen gives a soft smile and closes his eyes.

Jared holds on to him for the rest of the night as they sleep in a peaceful state that neither of them gets to visit too often.

Jensen looks mildly freaked out the next morning. It’s pretty adorable and Jared wants to kiss him but he just smiles cheerfully and says, “Good morning, sunshine!”

“You’re still here,” Jensen deadpans, blinking slowly awake and wiping his face up and down.

“Sorry man, I didn’t mean to crash in your room. We both must’ve been pretty out of it, huh?”

“Yeah I guess.” Jensen sits up slowly in the bed and heads for the bathroom. He stops when he sees food, squinting in confusion. “You ordered breakfast?”

“Yep. And I figure since we have the entire day off we could go see a movie or something. Maybe go swimming. I haven’t been down to the hotel pool yet. Wait, forget that! We should go see some sights.” Jared holds up a colorful brochure of Vancouver’s greatest tourist places and really, he knows there’s no way Jensen could say no to his hopeful puppy dog face.

Jensen grunts and slams the bathroom door.

“Not much of a morning person, are ya?” Jared calls out, “It’s cool, man. I got coffee. Oooh! The aquarium! Jensen, we could totally go to the aquarium today! They have dolphins and turtles and oh god. They have sea otters! They’re so cute. C’mon it’ll be so much fun and then we--”

The bathroom door swings open and Jensen’s irritated voice filters out. “I’ll go if you promise to just shut _up_.”

“Done!” Jared zips his mouth shut and throws away the key. He gets giddy when he hears the sound of the shower starting up.

Today’s gonna be a good day.

The sun is finally shining, they have the day off, and Jared technically just spent the night with Jensen Ackles. Well – most of the night was spent watching Jensen sleep because fuck, he is just that hot.

So Jared downs another cup of coffee because the last thing he wants is to be tired today. Then he waits.

Jensen steps out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and another one thrown over his shoulder, successfully hiding the scars. There’s a cloud of steam following him and yeah, Jared’s seen Jensen without a shirt on, up close and personal, but not like this. Not with water running down his abs and with glasses on and still looking just as at ease as he was last night. Then the questions start and his demeanor changes slightly.

“So… you’re already dressed?” Jensen asks. He looks over to Jared’s own clean jeans, striped shirt, and red beanie he’s wearing.

“You just noticing that?”

“I just put my contacts in.”

Jared nods. “Yeah, you were pretty passed out when I left. Musta slept pretty good, huh?”

Jensen walks over to the dresser and starts to go through a drawer, “How’d you get back in?”

“What?”

“You left to go take a shower and get changed, right? So how’d you get back in the room?”

“Oh I just…,” Jared holds up the card key, “It was lying on the table and I took it so I could get back in. Is that okay?”

The muscles in Jensen’s back go from stiff to slack as soon as the words leave Jared’s mouth, “Yeah. I was just wondering.”

Jared’s a little confused and he doesn’t want to start the day on the wrong foot. Maybe Jensen just needs a minute to himself, “Hey I’m gonna go grab my wallet and phone from my room. I’ll meet you down at my truck, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a few.”

Jared leaves the room quietly and stands for a minute in the hallway. He has to remember to tread lightly. Jensen only has just started to talk in complete sentences around him so has to take it slow. Make Jensen want him as much as Jared wants Jensen.

This could be a problem.

God, Jared doesn’t even know for sure if Jensen is gay or straight. Not a lot of straight dudes would let another guy spend the night though, so maybe he’s in the clear. Jared will have to crank up the charm and find out for real today though, because this little guessing game is starting to suck balls.

Jared’s folding a map he found in the lobby of the hotel when Jensen finds him.

“You ready to roll?”

“Yep,” Jensen slides a pair of sunglasses on and Jared almost creams his pants. The guy didn’t shave and there’s stubble all along his strong jawbone, the jeans Jensen’s wearing are tight across his ass and shredded at the knees, and Jared’s very sure that it would take only one flick of his wrist to rip that thin white t-shirt off of Jensen’s chest.

And he doesn’t smell good. Nope. Not at all. Jared takes a deep breath in to see just how bad Jensen stinks.

It’s just so _good_.

They walk outside and it’s perfect weather for sightseeing. They round to Jared’s truck and Jensen slides right in. It feels right to have Jensen in his truck. Like he belongs there.

Despite having a map, Jared gets lost three times and Jensen laughs at him the entire way.

“I told you not to make that turn.”

“You did not! I turned and then you told me it was the wrong direction.”

“All right, all right… here,” Jensen’s still laughing. “Go left here and it should be up the road. I think we have to walk through the park to get there.”

“See, now you’re being helpful,” Jared smiles, flipping the blinker on. Signs leading to the aquarium come into view and Jared breathes a sigh of relief,“Finally!”

“Maybe I should drive back.” Jensen teases as they walk along the small road, lined by thick trees. “Your sense of direction seems pretty limited.”

“Jerk off,” Jared playfully shoves Jensen away and grabs at his bicep to pull him back to his chest. They fall into a stride and Jared’s gets those familiar tingles in his stomach when Jensen presses against him and doesn’t move away.

People look in Jensen’s general direction and kids point at his head, but everyone is so damn happy to be out for the day that no one really pays attention to Jensen’s blue hair and tattoos. Jared likes that they don’t get to see all of Jensen, that they only get to see this mask and only he knows what’s underneath.

Jared pays the admission fee because it was his idea to come here but Jensen insists on paying for lunch, which Jared won’t argue with.

They walk through slowly and stop at each tank to look at the different fish in all odd shapes and radical colors. Jensen’s eyes dance and glow in this really amazing pale-green when they get to the seahorse exhibit and he stops to read the information about the little creatures. Jared stands behind him and closes in just a little to place his hands on the railing. Jensen crosses his arms over his chest and leans back a bit, not seeming to mind being trapped in the circle of Jared’s arms.

“They’re really beautiful.”

Jared shifts his eyes to Jensen, “I completely agree.”

“Come on. Let’s go see these famous sea otters and then get some lunch.”

When Jared doesn’t move away, just presses even closer so that his nose is almost touching Jensen’s neck, Jensen places his hand on Jared’s arm and pushes. He doesn’t immediately let Jared go but then drops the hold and starts to walk up the ramp, “Seriously. I can hear your stomach growling from here.”

The sea otters are really freakin’ cute and Jared could stand there all day to watch them swim. He could also watch Jensen as he stands back, arms still set across his chest, as he laughs and smiles at the little guys. And then Jared’s stomach growls loudly again and then it’s just embarrassing so they head to the food court.

“I feel really weird having fish and chips at an aquarium.”

“That has to be morally wrong, somehow.” Jared agrees, “We’ll have to go for the hamburgers then.” Considering that it’s a week day there’s still a fairly good amount of people so Jared scans the cafeteria for a table. “Can you get me double cheese? I’m gonna go find somewhere to sit.”

Five minutes later there’s ketchup on Jensen’s chin and Jared itches to reach out and get it. He starts to talk instead. “So do you ever get recognized in LA or not yet?”

Jensen raises his eyebrows, “No, not really. I’ve only really been in one movie and my part wasn’t that big.”

“How’d you get so good from just one movie?”

“I acted in a lot of plays before that.”

“Oh.” Jared nods, his mind working for more questions Jensen won’t get offended by now that he finally has the actor talking. “Was the audition for _Cabin_ tough?”

“I did okay,” Jensen shrugs, “I met David through a mutual friend and he thought I had talent and that I’d be good for the role so I read for the part.”

“You’re perfect for the part.” Jared says.

Jensen takes a sip of his coke and grabs a French fry, “It feels good to be acting again.”

“Why’d you stop for so long?”

“Just had some stuff come up and I couldn’t.”

Jared knows that Jensen’s not married and doesn’t have any kids according to what he read on the internet. But he’s dying to know.

“You have a girl back in LA, Jensen?”

Jensen’s really surprised at the question but he answers it anyway, “No.”

“A boyfriend?”

“I had a boyfriend…” Jensen starts slowly, “A long time ago.”

Jared’s eyebrows shoot up in pleasant surprise, but he covers his reaction quickly, sits back in his chair and crosses his legs, trying like hell to be nonchalant. Inside though, inside he’s bursting like a giant girl. It can really only be described as pure giddiness. A chance that something could be, that all these emotions he has been feeling for these long lasting few weeks aren’t all for a guy who’d absolutely never consider him. He keeps a straight face, nods like he appreciates Jensen for telling him the truth.

“And?”

“And now,” Jensen’s eyes are focused on Jared, “I don’t.”

“Hmm,” Jared doesn’t really know how to respond, wants to stand up on the table and do a little dance.

“What about you?”

“I had a boyfriend awhile back too,” Jared says, “And now I don’t.”

“We have a lot more in common than I thought.” Jensen gets up to throw his trash away and points to an area that they hadn’t gotten to yet. “Come on, Stretch. Let’s go see the other side of this fish tank.”

Two hours later they’re both exhausted and Jared convinces Jensen it’s because David and John work them too hard. They’re about to leave when Jensen goes to use the bathroom and Jared sneaks into the gift shop to buy a stuffed sea otter.

Jensen blushes this pretty pink high in his cheeks as he takes it from Jared.

“I think we should name him Mr. Flappy.” Jared says proudly as they head back to the truck.

Jensen looks at him like he’s insane, “No way.”

“How about… Princess Otter Pop? No, that’s dumb. What about Harry P-otter? No, that’s still kinda geeky.” Jared decides.

Jensen barks out a laugh and shakes his head at Jared’s absurdness.

“Okay, smart ass; you try to come up with a name then.”

“You know, turns out last week I turned six years old and now I’m not five. Guess I don’t need to name stuffed animals anymore. Bummer.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. If you don’t name him now, he’ll never be able to live out his full potential as a stuffed animal. You really want that, Jensen? To deprive a defenseless, lifeless toy of his name?”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “How do you know it’s a him?”

Jared gasps dramatically, “You already have a name picked out, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Well? The suspense is killin’ me.”

They’ve reached the truck and Jensen settles in with his sea otter on his lap, a wide, protective hand across the back of it. “I was thinking Mariah.”

Jared laughs loudly all the way back to the hotel.

  


  
There’re no people at the pool in the middle of the week, and it’s the hottest day in Vancouver since Jared’s arrived so he’s going to soak it up all he can. He has been outside since late afternoon and now it’s almost eight in the evening, the sun setting along the horizon a few hours ago.

Jared’s been lounging on a patio chair, listening to his headphones and reading a book, and has been debating whether he should try again to get Jensen out of his hotel room and join him for the last ten minutes. He casually glances around the pool area, figuring Jensen would’ve come down by now because he knows Jared is out here by the occasional text messages they’ve shared throughout the day.

Yesterday had been – in one word, awesome. Jensen was normal acting through most of the day and was actually able to hold a conversation. Jared had suggested they go somewhere to eat when they got back from the aquarium and they ended up going to a steak house a few miles away. They mostly talked about work and the set, including a detailed conversation about what they both saw two days ago when the crazy girl in production went off on one of the guys who works the camera. After a long discussion, they concluded it was a lover’s battle they had witnessed.

Then right when the check came, Jensen started to fidget and began to check his cell phone every few minutes. Jared quickly drove back to the hotel, not knowing what to say or what he could do to calm Jensen down. When they got to the lobby, Jensen simply left Jared standing there.

Eventually Jared made his way back to his room and sat on the bed, just thinking about the day. He finally sent a text to Jensen to see if he was okay and got a response that Jensen was fine, in bed, and that he’d talk to him tomorrow.

And now it is tomorrow and Jared really wants to see Jensen, wondering what they hell he has been up to being cooped up in his room all day.

Jared is tapping his phone to his chest, enjoying the breeze in the air and the sweet silence of no one around when it beeps.

Jensen: You still at the pool?

Jared: Yeah.

Jared: Come on down.

Jared: No 1 here. Still nice out.

Jensen: Not one for swimming

Jared: What swimming? We’ll just put our feet in :)

Stretching out on the lounge chair, Jared adjusts his bathing suit. He decided to go for the little shorts instead of long board trunks since no one is around to gawk at him… although, he had gotten plenty of pointed looks when he walked through the lobby this afternoon. He glances to his little pile of stuff by his feet and thinks about putting on a t-shirt, but then again, Jared really wants Jensen to see him like this. If the guy ever comes down. God damn, what could be the hold up?

And then it hits Jared. Of course Jensen doesn’t want to leave his room. Because then he’ll have to go back by himself and obviously the idea of an empty room makes Jensen uncomfortable.

Stupid, Jared, so stupid for not thinking about it. He wonders what Jensen did last night, should have offered to walk him to his room or something, and knows that’s why he’d been acting weird. And now Jared doesn’t blame him for not wanting to come down to the pool.

But… if Jared offers this time, maybe Jensen will say yes.

Jared: After we’re done down here we can watch tv in ur room

Jared: I can tuck u in.

Jared: Make sure ur safe and sound.

Jared: Read u a bed time story

Jared: Sing u to sleep. Want a preview? LALALALAAAA

That does the trick.

Jensen: That’s horrible

Jensen: Be there in a few

Jared: Bring food

Almost ten minutes later, Jared watches Jensen wander out to the pool area, eyes searching for him. They smile at each other when their gazes meet and Jared sits up a little as Jensen makes his way to him through a maze of patio furniture.

There’s a sandwich and a bag of chips in his hand but Jared immediately gets distracted by the white and green floral print shorts and black t-shirt Jensen is wearing. His feet are bare and the blue hair, black nail polish and airbrushed tattoos on his neck and arms just seem so fake now. Like misplaced camouflage for the rest of the world. Jared wants to strip him of it, get his hands on the _real_ Jensen.

The food is passed to Jared when he reaches out for it and Jensen pulls a can of coke out of his back pocket.

“Thank you thank you thank you,” Jared chants as he opens the chips, then shoving half the bag in his mouth.

“You’re lucky the guys in the kitchen like us.” Jensen says as he sits down. He watches with amusement as Jared eats with much enthusiasm.

“It’s because we tip well.” Jared covers his mouth with his hand as he talks while eating.

“You’ve been out here all day?”

“Yeah, m’sick of my room. It stinks in there.”

Jensen laughs and props his feet up, looks around at the tall trees circling the big pool. It’s dark with just a few overhead lights and gives the illusion of privacy.

“What’d you do all day?”

“Nothing much,” Jensen shrugs. “Slept mostly, caught up with the family, memorized some lines,” He scrubs a hand over his face and yawns, “Now I’m wide awake.”

“Good thing it’s a night shoot tomorrow. We can sleep in a little.”

“Yeah…” Jensen trails off. He gets a crooked smile and tilts his head, green eyes sparkling.

“What?”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He asks.

“Oh.” Jared feels a blush start at his cheeks. “This is my bathing suit.”

“It looks like underwear.”

“This style is very big in Europe.”

“S’that so?”

“Yep.” And if Jensen keeps looking at him like that, Jared is going to get embarrassed because these tight shorts don’t hide anything, especially if his dick were to get a little excited.

He turns his attention back to finishing his sandwich and burps loudly after he downs the soda.

“Very sexy,” Jensen says dryly.

“Thanks! Come on, wanna go for a swim?” Jared pushes himself up and takes the four steps to the pool without waiting for Jensen to argue.

He dives in, as gracefully as he can, and lets the cool water wash over him. It feels good, refreshing, and Jared slicks his long hair back as he swims over to the side where Jensen is now sitting, his legs splashing at Jared as he comes closer.

“It’s cold.”

“It’s not once you get in.” Jared smiles widely, pulling at Jensen’s feet, “C’mon. Want me to hold your hand?”

“Shut up.” Jensen reaches in the water and splashes Jared again.

Jared curses and dives under the water, coming back up a few feet away from Jensen, “Can’t get me now, smartass.”

Jensen looks like he’s about to jump in, but something stops him. Instead, he scratches at his stomach and closes his eyes. Jared can tell Jensen’s mind is racing, he just doesn’t know what about.

And then he understands. He’s getting so much better at figuring Jensen out that he’s honestly a little impressed with himself.

“Jensen…” Jared starts towards him slowly, hoping the sincerity is clear in his expression, “You can take off your shirt. I’ve seen it. Up close. And its fine, I promise. It’s just me out here.”

“You won’t ask me any questions about it?” Jensen asks, his fingers playing at the hem of his shirt.

“Cross my heart.” And Jared does to make his point.

As soon as the shirt comes off, Jared doesn’t even have time to see the scar before Jensen dips in the pool and ducks under the water. He comes up a few seconds later, a huge smile on his face, clear drops clinging to his eyelashes and Jared doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more beautiful image.

“I haven’t been swimming in years.” Jensen breathes out, a hint of amazement in his voice.

“Told ya it’d feel good,” Jared says simply.

Jensen flattens his hand and skims the top of the water, sending a harsh splash right in Jared’s face.

“Oh it’s so on!” Jared screams as he leaps in Jensen’s general direction, but falls short and Jensen uses the advantage to dunk him.

It’s a full on water war for the next ten minutes until both can’t breathe and Jared calls truce so he can rest.

“Screw that, I totally won.”

“Okay, okay. You win. I give up.” Jared rests his head on his crossed arms folded over the side of the pool.

Jensen laughs and relaxes at Jared’s side, “Thanks for making me come down here.”

“Any time.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes while they catch their breath. Jared doesn’t think before he reaches out and brushes a thumb against Jensen’s neck. “Tattoo’s holding up pretty good.”

“Yeah,” Jensen says softly, moves a little with the waves of the water and gets closer.

Jared’s fingers trail to Jensen’s back, barely touching over the scar and he can instantly feel when Jensen tenses. Damn.

“Okay, I’m not gonna ask,” Jared sighs. “But can I show you something?”

Jensen only looks at him with a questioning glance and gives a slight nod. Jared takes a second to give Jensen a reassuring smile and then he pulls himself up with his arms and sits on the ledge of the pool. It’s cold as hell but Jared doesn’t want to let Jensen out of his sight, even for a second to get a towel.

He lifts his leg out of the water and wiggles his toes. “See that mark right there by my ankle? When I was a kid my brother drove one of those little race cars right into my foot. I cried like a baby and my mom gave me a popsicle for it.”

“Where?” Jensen swims down and catches Jared’s foot in his hand, inspecting his ankle until he finds the little white scar.

“And this one?” Jared raises his other leg and points to his heel, “I got this one from stepping on a sharp rock at summer camp. Sliced right open.”

Jensen lets go of Jared’s foot to look at the other. His hands are all over Jared’s leg, rubbing up and down as he examines for broken skin, and Jared wonders if Jensen’s even aware of it.

“And this one,” Jared rubs at his knee, smiling as he remembers. “I got rollerblades for Christmas and was trying to show off for my little sister. I went down so hard in front of the house. All the neighborhood kids saw and started to laugh.”

Jensen grabs at Jared’s thighs to keep himself steady and floats right between Jared’s open legs. He traces the scar on Jared’s kneecap, back and forth slowly, and then looks up with big eyes, waiting for the next story.

“Appendix scar,” Jared explains as he stretches his stomach out and only has to push down his shorts slightly for Jensen to see.

Jensen doesn’t hesitate to feel Jared there either and it sends a tingle up his spine, and then straight back down to his dick. It feels amazing to have Jensen touching him for a change, initiating the contact. Jared doesn’t want it to end. Ever.

He sticks his pinkie out and pouts. “I was trying to cook dinner and almost took my finger off!”

There might be a little exaggeration to the story, but sympathy points don’t hurt.

“Aw,” Jensen frowns and takes Jared hand in his, holding up his pinkie in the light to see the healed cut.

“And there’s another one right around here somewhere.” Jared points above his nipple, trying to look down at it. He sucks in a gulp of air as Jensen starts to run his fingertips right underneath his collarbone.

“It’s right here. I can see it. What happen?”

God, it’s like Jensen’s almost in his arms right now and Jared has to hunch over so Jensen can get to where he wants, which is his chest and that’s just fine, but damn, if he doesn’t get away soon then his boner is going to make an appearance.

But he can’t stop.

“I um… it was after practice for a school play, and I was walking home through the field with a buddy. We saw a bird with a broken wing and I wrapped my shirt around it, thinking I’d carry it home. So I was holding it, ya know? And it started to scratch at my chest and then my friend noticed all these little white bugs.”

“Oh shit.” Jensen starts to laugh.

“It was lice.”

“Okay, that’s _really_ nasty.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Jared wants to push him back into the pool but can’t bring himself to do it. “Just for that I’m not telling you about this one,” He says and points to his lip.

“No, c’mon. Tell me.” Jensen pleads and grows serious, “Where?”

“Here.” Jared pushes out his bottom lip. “See it?”

Jensen gets all close and there’s water dripping from his hair, down the side of his cheek and Jared can smell the chlorine on his skin and the lights from the pool are making his freckles stand out all across his nose and Jared just aches with want.

“Yeah, what happen?”

“Huh?”

Jensen smiles like he knows he’s making Jared lose it by being this close, “How’d you get that scar?”

“Oh. I um… well, do you want to know what I tell people or what I actually did?”

“What do you tell people?”

“I say that I was playing basketball and fell.”

“And what actually happen?”

Jared narrows his eyes, “You’ll laugh.”

Jensen shakes his head, eyes earnest, “No I won’t.”

“For some reason when I was five years old I was running around the kitchen in my mom’s high heels. I fell and hit the counter.”

Jensen cracks up and Jared does push him back in the pool. He gets up and goes to his stuff for a towel and grabs the one he’d been lying on for Jensen, who is still smirking as he gets out.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh.”

“I couldn’t help it!” Jensen grabs the towel and wraps it around himself.

“C’mon, Mr. Chuckles. Let’s go to your room and I’ll show you the chicken pox scar on my back.”

“Ohhh exciting,” Jensen grins and helps Jared carry all his crap into the hotel.

Jared wants to say that all of his stupid scar stories put together couldn’t be anything compared to whatever Jensen has to say. And he wants to know so badly, but maybe by sharing what’s wrong with his body will entice Jensen to do the same.

He can only hope.

The next day, bright and early, Jensen is being really quiet, not talking at all, while Jared works on him in the trailer. They actually rode together to the set, which Jared thinks is huge, so he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.

And now Jensen’s gone silent on him. _Again_. Like they just met or something. He lets it go for awhile and then Jared just can’t take it anymore. “Are you okay?” He blurts out.

“I got a pretty big scene today.”

“Oh. You nervous?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Anything I can do?”

“No. I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll knock ‘em dead.” Jared says, squeezing Jensen’s shoulder. He wants to say that he’ll be right there in case he needs him, but doesn’t because why the hell would an actor need his makeup artist for support.

The day starts out pretty smoothly and Jared watches carefully. Brent has some heavy dialogue he has to deliver to Jensen and it’s just the two of them for the entire day. In fact, Jared doesn’t really know what Jensen would be stressed-out about because he’s not really saying much. But then Jared watches closer and realizes that Jensen has to react to everything that Brent is saying and its depressing stuff so Jensen has to keep his jaw locked, his eyes constantly on the verge of tears and his whole body is just incredibly tense with it all.

At lunch Trish tells Jared to put on some layers and a raincoat because they’re flooding the stage with fake rain.

“It’s gonna get cold fast. The water is supposed to be heated, but it won’t feel like it,” Trish says, “So get ready. Plus we’ll need you to make sure none of Jensen’s makeup will run or it’ll ruin the take. We wanna make this as short as possible.”

“Got it,” Jared nods and now he’s nervous for Jensen. Shit. It sounds like the next couple of hours are going to be torture on him and there isn’t much he can do about it.

The sky starts to get dark late in the afternoon and Jared silently curses the weather under his breath. Of course the sun couldn’t be up today, even if it would make the studio just a little warmer.

Jensen’s in his own space when Jared takes off most of the makeup he had put on this morning and shadows his eyes again with smudged waterproof liner.

Jared throws feeling stupid out the window when he sees Jensen get these worried lines in his forehead. “Jen, if you need anything tonight… you know I’ll be there, right?”

“Huh? Yeah, man. Don’t worry ‘bout anything. It’s just one scene.”

Jensen is only wearing a leather jacket that he’ll have to take off, a stupid t-shirt that says _I Mow Your Mom’s Lawn_ on it and navy blue dickie shorts. Even Brent will be wearing a sweater and jeans in the shot. Everyone else on set will be wearing winter gear. Before he leaves the trailer, Jared grabs his long coat that’s almost two sizes too big but it’ll do.

The first couple of takes go fine and then the rain starts to pour from these machines the studio rented. Jensen has to shout all of his lines to Brent while keeping his shit together and not trembling under the cold water.

It takes twenty minutes for John to call for a break. They’re not even half way through of what they need. There are assistants all around and Jensen can go to any of them for a coat or to be brought to a heater, but Jared can see Jensen making his way through all of them right towards him.

“Hey man, you okay? You should go stand by a heater or something. Your lips are turning blue.”

Jensen just shakes his head and stutters out, “Did it look okay?”

“Did it look okay? Jesus, Jensen. Yeah, it looked great,” Jared opens his jacket and steps closer to the shaking actor,“Now get in here.”

Jensen practically lunges into the warmth, and Jared’s clothes are going to be soaked, but he couldn’t care less. He circles his arms around Jensen’s waist, closes the coat around both of them, and rubs up and down his back. Jensen rests his head on Jared’s shoulder and his nose is freezing against Jared’s neck.

Crew members don’t even notice that they’re wrapped around each other and Jared takes what he can get, presses his lips to Jensen’s cold cheeks and blow warm air on his skin.

“I probably gotta get back,” Jensen murmurs, but doesn’t move away.

“You just need to stay right here till they call you. I should really get you over to a heater.”

Jensen fists Jared’s shirt in his hand, “You’re warmer than a heater. Like a furnace.”

Jared doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms even tighter around Jensen’s body. His nose brushes through Jensen’s hair, to his temple and then to his cold ear. Jared opens his mouth around the earlobe and sucks gently, his tongue swirling around the icy flesh and fake piercing.

Jensen doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Let me take you home tonight. Instead of Vince,” Jared clarifies, “You can take a hot bath in my room since yours only has a shower stall.”

“I can j-j-just take a shower.”

It’s true. Jensen’s room doesn’t have a tub but it has these two amazing looking showerheads. Jared snuck a look before they went to the aquarium. He shakes his head. “I think a nice relaxing bath is an order.”

Jensen nods and closes his eyes. His eyelashes are so dark against his pale skin, the freckles standing out more now than ever with no foundation to cover them up. His lips are a cherry red from the cold and Jared wants to kiss them warm again, but instead he kisses Jensen’s forehead as they call him back to the scene.

“I’ll be right here.”

Jensen smiles as he removes himself from the strong embrace of Jared’s hold. “I know.”

The rest of the shoot goes flawlessly. Jared and Jensen are excused to leave as soon as Jensen’s scene is done and before he knows it, Jared’s got a shivering actor sitting in his truck.

“Doing okay?”

“Drive fast,” Jensen slurs, “My balls feel like they’re about to fall off.”

“You got it.”

Jensen slides out of the truck slowly once they reach the hotel and reaches for Jared’s hand. Even though Jared wants to rush to the room and get Jensen warm, they move through the lobby slowly with their fingers twined together. It’s then Jared realizes that not only is Jensen freezing, he’s sore as hell too from being on his feet all day and doing physical stunts.

“Almost there,” Jared assures as the elevator clings open on their floor.

They walk right past Jensen’s room and down the hallways to Jared’s. He doesn’t want to, but he has to let go of Jensen’s hand to get the key out of his wallet. The room is warm and dark, the king size bed covered with dirty laundry and a half read book.

He steers Jensen towards the bathroom and sits him on the toilet. The complimentary bubble bath is stashed somewhere and Jared finally finds it under the sink. It’s a little on the cheap side, but it smells pretty nice and it’s really the only thing Jared has right now. He turns on the water all the way to hot and plugs the drain. It doesn’t take too long for the tub to fill and the soap to turn into bubbles.

Jensen has his eyes closed and is swaying a little so Jared knows he’s not asleep. He helps Jensen stand up and takes off the coat he’d put on him at the set.

“Jensen? You need my help?”

“’M tired. And cold.”

Jared sighs. It’s been a thirteen hour day with the last three hours in and out of cold rain. Jensen is almost numb and Jared’s getting anxious to get him warmed up. “Jensen? Man, you need to get undressed and into the tub.”

Jensen opens his eyes slowly into slits, the earthy green dark and tired. He shivers, almost violently, and a spread of goose bumps covers his arms, “You’re kinda cute.”

“Oh god.”

“Really cute. Wanna do things to you,” Jensen whispers, like it’s a secret. He leans a little far to the left and nearly tumbles over. “Want you to do things to me. Those fingers…”

“Okay, you’re delusional right now,” Jared catches him and tears Jensen’s t-shirt up over his head and unbuckles his belt and shorts, “You gotta do the rest. I’ll be back in a minute.”

The bathroom door closes behind him and Jared breathes a sigh of relief. God. That was one of the most awkward situations he has gotten himself into in a really long time. And he’s so incredibly turned on right now, his dick hard and thick under his pants. He reaches to adjust himself and muffles a moan at the contact. This is so not the right time to be horny.

He has to concentrate. Focus on the naked Jensen Ackles in the next room.

Crap. He’s completely fucked.

He calls room service for some hot chocolate and cookies since it’s too late to eat a full meal, and then sits on the bed quietly until the food arrives.

It’s not nearly enough time for his dick to go down, but Jared’s shirt covers his excitement so he can at least open the door.

“Looks good, thanks.” Jared breathes in deep to smell the chocolate and smiles when he sees marshmallows in a glass bowl.

“Have a good night, sir.”

He changes quickly into some sweatpants and a clean shirt, and then knocks on the bathroom door with mugs of hot coco in hand, “Hey, you decent?”

“Yeah.”

Jared nudges the door with his foot and it swings open easily. Jensen is completely covered with white bubbles all the way to his neck. His eyes are closed again and his jaw is slack.

“Wow, your lips aren’t blue anymore,” Jared smiles and starts to hand him the steaming cup. “Here, drink this.”

“Thanks.” Jensen moans a little as he sits up. The scar across his chest comes into view and Jared makes a conscious effort to not look at it, “I finally feel human again.”

“Bet you’re glad that scene is done, huh?” Jared carefully gives Jensen the mug and then sits on the toilet. He crosses his legs and sips on his own hot chocolate.

“Yeah, I’ve been dreading it since I read the script.”

“You did good though. Everything looked awesome.”

“Thanks,” Jensen says and then quietly, “And thanks for taking care of my ass. I was really out of it.”

“You got that right,” Jared laughs, wanting nothing more than what Jensen said earlier to be true. “But it’s not a big deal. I like taking care of you. It makes me feel useful.”

Jensen tilts his head and gives a small smile. “Are these tattoo’s gonna be okay or they gonna wash off?”

Jared shrugs. “If they do I’ll just touch them up. You all warm now? Wanna get out?”

“Five more minutes,” Jensen says and Jared’s wondering if he should leave. He looks at the door and falters when Jensen keeps talking, making the decision for him. “What time do we have to be on set tomorrow?”

“Trish told me to call her tomorrow morning. I guess they’re not done building stage three yet so I don’t know if we even have to go in.”

“I hope not,” Jensen says, takes a big gulp of the drink and swallows it down, “I could sleep for a three days and still be tired as hell.”

“Well come on then,” Jared yawns and throws Jensen a towel. “Get out and we can get some shut eye.”

He’s really tired too and as much as he’d like stay and help Jensen dry off, he gets up and walks to the bed, turning off the light in the main room on the way. The bathroom door is left halfway open and Jared sprawls out on the mattress, his head propped on pillows and he has a great view of the mirror above the sink, reflecting the tub perfectly.

He watches as Jensen stands up slowly, the suds and water spilling down his naked body and Jared just lays there. Watching. He can’t look away and when Jensen catches his gaze in the mirror, Jared’s sure he’s going to close the door all the way. It surprises the hell out of him when Jensen doesn’t even move to hide behind a towel or turn his back. In fact, Jensen smirks a little and licks his lips like he knows exactly what he’s doing. Jared is stunned that the actor is finally opening up to him, even if it’s only by a reflection in a mirror. Safe, Jared thinks. Jensen is a good distance away so he feels safe.

Then Jared contemplates taking his dick out, stroking it once, and coming all over the place. But he’s memorized by the sight of Jensen rinsing off and stepping carefully out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around his waist.

Jared gets under the blankets as Jensen walks in only to hide the raging tent in his pants.

“I can’t stay.” Jensen says, circling the room.

Jared moves the covers off the other half of the bed and pats the mattress, inviting Jensen in.

“You should really go.”

“I really should,” Jensen crawls in and settles quickly, stretching his body out.

“You want some sweats or something? Or you gonna sleep naked?” Jared grins at the idea.

“Not naked. I have a towel on,” Jensen informs him, yawning loudly and turning on his stomach.

Jared moves closer, just a little, to trace over the scar on Jensen’s back.

“Don’t look at it,” Jensen mumbles, “’S’ugly.”

“You’re beautiful,” Jared whispers. He tentatively trails his fingers further down Jensen’s back and curls his arm around his hips, the towel pushing down slightly.

“I should go.”

“You should stay. Right here,” Jared brushes his nose along the smooth skin of Jensen’s shoulder. He’s warm now and Jared couldn’t be happier.

“I should go,” Jensen says again, his eyes blinking open and closed slowly, “Call Vince to get me.”

“Why would you have to call Vince?” Jared keeps his voice steady and smooth.

“’Cause he protects me.”

“From what?”

Jensen’s snore is the only answer Jared gets.

Damnit. So close.

The next morning the towel is lying on the floor next to the bed and Jared is really tempted to lift the covers so he can peak at Jensen’s bare sweet ass. He saw him last night in the shower, sure, but this would be up close.

Stupid guilt. Jared doesn’t look but he does stay in bed, hoping that the sheet will slide down or magically disappear all together.

“Morning.”

Jared nearly jumps out of his skin at Jensen’s voice, “Jesus.”

“How’d I scare you if I’m right here?” Jensen rolls his eyes and yawns loudly.

“I know you’re right there. I just…” Jared turns towards Jensen and catalogues the sleepy face in his brain for later, “Forgot for a minute.”

“That’s nice,” Jensen says dryly, “So do we have to go in today?”

“We have to be at the studio in an hour.”

“Fuck.” Jensen closes his eyes again. “Stop staring.”

“Sorry.” Jared gets out of bed and stretches his arms over his head, “Want first dibs on the shower?”

“Go ahead.”

When Jared gets out of the bathroom, Jensen and his clothes are gone.

“Hey! Jensen, wait up!” Jared runs across the parking lot and it must’ve rained for real last night because it’s muddy and slick under his shoes. “Hey, where’d you take off to this morning?”

“Clean clothes were in my room,” Jensen says and turns towards the makeup trailer. They need to hurry or they’ll be late to the set.

“Yeah, I know but we could’ve ridden in together.”

Jensen starts to say something about Vince waiting for him at his room but then Jared’s world goes very black. And then white. And then black again. He can hear Jensen curse and then call out for help. He yells for the medic and Jared really wants to tell him that’s he’s fine, but he can’t find his voice.

Finally, Jensen’s face appears. The image is all fuzzy, but at least Jared can see again.

“Dude, just lay still. I think you hit your head.”

“Ow.”

“Idiot.”

Jared can feel Jensen’s hands on him and it would be nice if it were under different circumstances.

“Jensen? What happened?” It’s the medic and Jared can’t remember his name.

“Jared slipped on the stairs and went down. I think he hit his head, but I’m not sure.”

Ben. That’s the medic’s name. Ben. Ben would help him.

“Did he black out?”

“Yeah, for like 5 seconds.”

“Jared? Jared can you hear me, man?”

“Hey, Ben.”

“Hi, Jared,” Ben smiles down at him and he’s cute. But not as cute as Jensen, “How many fingers am I holding up, buddy?”

“Three.”

“That’s good. Does anything feel broken? Does your neck or back hurt?”

“No, I’m fine.” Jared starts to sit up and Ben helps him lean against the trailer. He touches the back of Jared’s head and presses around his skull. “You’re gonna have a bump.”

“Hey that’s great.”

“Don’t sound so excited.” Ben smiles again and there’s obvious intent, almost like flirting. He grabs a small flashlight from his pocket and squats down closer. “I’m gonna check your pupils, okay?”

Jared nods and keeps still as the light flashes in his eyes. He can see David running towards him and the small group of crew members that formed at the commotion spread out so the director can get through.

“Jared, Christ, are you okay? We have Ben for the actors, not the crew.”

“I’m sorry, Dave. The steps were slippery.”

“Look at where you’re goin’ next time, huh? Nearly gave me a heart attack. Ben, is he okay?”

Ben clicks off his flashlight and peers up to David. “Yeah, he should be fine,” He turns back to Jared with a more serious expression, “If you start to get a headache or feel like you’re gonna puke, come get me, okay? Anything weird at all, don’t hesitate.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” Jared stands up slowly and runs his muddy hands on his jeans. He’s a mess.

“Maybe you should go home for the day, Jared.” Ben suggests. “Can Jensen get his makeup done by Gina or someone else?

David quickly looks over to Jensen, who has been incredibly quiet the entire time, and shakes his head. “No. Only Jared works on Jensen. Are you okay to work today Jared? We can always test sound with Brent for the day.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jared says. “I’m sorry I held things up.”

“Take your time,” David says and then turns to the small crowd. “All right everyone! Show’s over, back to work! Call time is now in one hour!”

Jared makes his way up the trailer steps slowly, grabbing the door handle when it’s in reach. As soon as they’re both safely inside, Jensen pounces on him, running his hands through Jared’s hair and turning his head side to side.

“Are you sure that you’re okay? Fuck. What’re you trying to do? Make me have a panic attack?”

Jared catches Jensen’s hands in his own, “Jen, I’m fine. I promise.”

“Don’t do that again.” Jensen voice is stern, his eyes even fiercer and Jared nods innocently, bends down a little so they’re level. They fall into a hug and it’s a little silly and really ridiculous but it’s what Jensen seems to have needed to make him calm again.

“Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“We really have to hurry.”

“Shit.” Jensen sits into the makeup chair and Jared buzzes around him quickly, having the routine almost memorized now.

  


  
Four hours later Jensen is acting his ass off with Brent and Jared’s hanging around at the back of the stage, picking dried mud off his jeans.

“Hi, Jared. How’s your head feelin’?”

Ben’s face is between concerned and amused and Jared doesn’t really blame him.

“It’s fine, just my dignity’s a little broken.”

“Sorry, can’t do much to fix that.”

“Don’t you have a _Batman_ Band-Aid you can slap on me or something?”

Ben laughs and sits down. He has really white teeth, Jared notices. They stand out nicely against his olive skin and bring out his light brown eyes and curly dark hair.

“Seriously though, I’m fine. Thanks for lookin’ out. I’m usually not that klutzy.”

Ben raises his eyebrow and Jared’s laugh echoes throughout the stage. “Okay, okay. I’m a total klutz. But usually I embarrass myself in private and not in front of people I work with.”

“It’s all good,” Ben grins and scoots his chair closer. “We all got a good laugh, at your expense of course.”

“Well I’m glad I can amuse everyone. Maybe I should do a second show. Or did anyone get it on video? We could post it on YouTube and get tons of fans.”

Ben laughs again and trails his eyes down Jared’s arms and back up again.

Crap.

“So I was wondering…” Ben starts slowly, “If maybe you’d want to get dinner or something tonight? Gotta make sure you don’t fall down again, ya know?”

Jared smiles at the attempt and shakes his head. “Sorry man, I’m kinda--”

“Seeing someone? Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. Um, kinda.” Jared bites his bottom lip and starts to apologize.

“It’s cool, man,” Ben stands up and slides his hands into his pockets. “Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy. I’ll see you around, okay? And still let me know if you don’t feel well or anything.”

“I will.”

The gods of the universe are definitely trying to test him, Jared decides, because that was uncomfortable and Ben seems like a really nice guy.

“So. You’re seeing someone, huh?”

“Jensen.”

“Just wondering,” Jensen’s grin is remarkable and there’re these damn crinkles at the corners of his eyes. His wardrobe is tight fitting today, with more work pants and a shirt that reads _Camp slap-a-ho_ stretched across his chest, chains and a spiked leather collar strapped around his neck.

“I didn’t know your scene finished.”

“We’re taking a break. How’s your head?”

It really feels fine, but Jensen doesn’t need to know that. “It kinda hurts,” Jared sticks out his lip in an impressive, dramatic pout. He can see how Jensen instantly falls for it, concern and worry in his eyes. “You should kiss it better for me.”

“You um… you really want me to?”

Jared tries to cover his surprise when Jensen actually might do it. “That’s the best offer I’ve gotten all day.”

Jensen steps closer, under the dark shadows of the various props Jared’s sitting on and stands between his open legs. He captures Jared’s jaw in both hands and tilts his head up slowly, smoothing his fingers over Jared’s dimples and the delicate skin under his eyes. Jensen places his mouth on Jared’s forehead, skims his lips down the side of Jared’s face and gives him another kiss on his cheek.

An assistant calls Jensen back to the set and Jared catches his hand as he goes. They share a look and Jared gets those swirly-jumpy thrills in his stomach that makes him stupidly happy and kind of scared at the same time.

At the end of the day, Jensen has to stay to do some voiceovers and Jared leaves for the hotel since he won’t be needed. He falls asleep as soon as he gets into his room and forgoes dinner and a workout like he originally planned.

It’s late when he hears a knock on the door. Jensen stands on the other side with his cell phone in hand.

“I can’t get past number thirty on this damn quiz you downloaded. It’s driving me insane.”

Jared laughs and leaves the door open for Jensen to follow. He falls back into bed and wiggles his feet. “How did the voiceovers go?”

“Fine,” Jensen climbs into the bed too and holds up the phone. “Now what’s the answer?”

Jared pretends to think, “How about I ask a question and if you answer it, I’ll tell you how to get pass that level.”

“I could just look the answers up on the internet.”

“That’s totally cheating!”

“Fine, fine,” Jensen relaxes against the pillows. “Go for it.”

“Why am I the only one that can do your makeup? Gina’s just as good as me.”

Jensen rubs a hand over his face and flushes a pretty pink. “Gina can do makeup, but not hair. I took this part on the condition that I could have a personal makeup artist who could do hair and the body art as well. It’s in my contract. David agreed to it because he knows… he knows I don’t like a lot of people touching me.”

“You don’t mind if I touch you.” Jared says, confused.

“Do you ever see anyone else touch me?”

Now that Jared thinks about it, he really hasn’t. “So they hired me because I can do everything. One or two less people to be near you. That’s why I can’t hire an assistant.”

“Yeah.”

“Why is it such a big deal if someone touches you?”

Jensen shrugs. “I just don’t like it.”

“Why, Jensen.”

“Ask a different question, Jared. Or the game’s over.”

“Fine,” Jared can sense the change in mood and knows Jensen’s right on edge. He puts his hand on Jensen’s leg and rubs his thumb over Jensen’s knee, “This okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I haven’t--” He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Let’s start again.”

Jared crosses his feet at his ankles and thinks about what he really wants to ask, what won’t make Jensen get up and leave. “Why’d you wait so long in between movies? Did you have other projects or something?”

Jensen shakes his head. “Right after my first movie someone broke into my house. It just – it destroyed me. For a long time I couldn’t get past it. It took me years to get over it and now I’m here.”

Some of the story starts to fit the puzzle, “The scars? Is that how you got them? During the robbery?”

“It wasn’t just a robbery, Jared.” Jensen’s fingers float up to his collarbone where the skin is broken. “I mean, that’s what the newspapers called it. My agent at the time made sure nothing except that a robbery took place got reported.”

“Then what was it?” Jared wants to hold Jensen in his arms so badly, knows that whatever is coming won’t be good. But he keeps his distance, doesn’t want to smoother. He squeezes Jensen’s kneecap to urge him to talk.

“Things were starting to finally fall into place, ya know? The movie wrapped and I got a pretty good paycheck and I was able to afford a nice place. It was two stories, marble countertops, high ceilings… it was awesome. I loved it. And I was dating this guy, Ray, for awhile.”

“He started to get jealous and clingy and I knew it wasn’t gonna last, so I dumped him. Said that I needed some time away from him. He got pissed, started leaving me nasty messages, following me to work n’shit. He broke in while I was in the shower one night. I had a few drinks so I kinda passed out pretty good. He hid in my closet when I went to bed and I woke up with a knife to my throat. I fought him off but he got my stomach and the back of my shoulder.”

“God, Jensen. Did he…?”

“He didn’t rape me or anything. I was caught off guard and still a little drunk, but I’m not weak, ya know? I fought him, there was blood everywhere. He fell off the bed and stabbed himself with the knife. It nicked an artery and he died at the hospital.

“I sold the house and got something smaller. It didn’t help. I kept having nightmares. Kept thinking someone was gonna break in. I was paranoid. I bought the best security system that money could buy. It still didn’t help so I moved in with my parents down in Texas for awhile. I was losing sleep. I was up all night and slept a little during the day. I couldn’t get work. I started to lose it. I couldn’t eat and kept getting thinner.

“My mom freaked out, god - she still freaks out when I don’t call her every week. Remember that day you asked me to go work out? I was on the phone with her for an hour trying to get my nerve up before I called you. I was so nervous. But I started to see a therapist in Texas so she’d stop nagging me about it. I didn’t think therapy would help but it did. It took three years all together for me to get here.”

Jared doesn’t know what to say so he just pulls on Jensen’s arm until they’re curled around each other, Jensen’s head resting on his chest.

“That’s why I have Vince stay in the room while I shower. Having security is in my contract too.” Jensen yawns and throws one of his legs over Jared’s. “I know you were wondering why Vince walks me to my room n’stuff. I know I should be over it, be able to take a shower without panicking or thinking someone’s in the room. And I’m getting better. I can take showers during the day but at night… sometimes it’s still hard, helps if someone is there. But small steps help too, I guess.”

“After we got back from the restaurant?” Jared asks gently, “The day we went to the aquarium?”

“I walked around the hotel for awhile, then sat in the bar and waited for Vince to come walk me to my room. I couldn’t tell you. It’s too fucking embarrassing.”

Jared presses his lips to Jensen’s hair and smoothes a hand over his back, hopes that it’s enough to reassure him. They stay silent for a few minutes before Jensen takes a deep breath and continues.

“I haven’t been with anyone since. Haven’t let myself trust again. I’m still scared to let anyone get close, afraid the whole thing might happen all over, which is so stupid, and I know that but I can’t… Fuck, I won’t even have a drink because I’m scared that I won’t be able to defend myself if something happens.

“And then I saw you at the studio the first day…” Jensen lifts his head and they make eye contact. “I tried so hard not to fall for you, not to get too close. I tried to act like an asshole to make you stay away from me. I got so tired acting pissed off all the time. You and your damn dimples though, so fucking cute, flirting and making me laugh. Your fingers, touching me. God, it’s been so long since someone has _touched_ me. You broke me open, Jay.”

“I’ve never wanted someone more,” Jared says softly, “Every broken piece of you.”

Jensen laughs dryly. “You shouldn’t want me. I’m so fucking damaged.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“You might regret it,” Jensen sighs heavily like he’d been holding his breath, “So what about you? What’s your history?”

“My ex cheated on me with my best friend.” Jared reveals, “It was awesome.”

Jensen’s eyes grow wide and he shakes his head with disbelief. “We make quite a couple.”

“Very dysfunctional,” Jared agrees.

They fall asleep with the light on. Throughout the night, one would wake up and stare at the other and vice versa. Neither of them thinks to switch the lamp off. It’s a comforting reminder that who they lay with is only their future and not their past.

The next week goes by in a blur. It’s not enough that Jensen is emotionally exhausted from replaying the most horrific thing that has ever happened to him for Jared, but they have another five twelve-hour days’ work schedule before their next day off.

In the time that they actually do see each other, Jared keeps Jensen laughing with stupid jokes and his general dorkiness. It’s mostly in the makeup trailer where they can actually talk, if Jensen’s caught up on his lines, and then later that night if they’re not too tired. They talk about everything, about family mostly, happy stories with their brothers and sisters, getting into trouble, and family vacations and school mischief and crazy aunts and everything and anything.

Between takes though – that’s Jared’s favorite time of the day. That’s when Jensen gets all shy and cute and tries to casually touch him, a brush across the hand or his shoulders. It’s like he’s trying to flirt and doesn’t realize that he has Jared now, and he really doesn’t have to try at all. But Jared refuses to tell him that because a blushing Jensen will never get old.

Jared’s not much better either. He loves to run his palms up and down Jensen’s arms if they’re standing next to each other, cradling his elbow or wrists. Then his hands will wander to Jensen’s hips and stay there until they get called back to set. They stand so close that Jensen leaves smelling like Jared’s aftershave.

They eat dinner together every night they can, but sometimes Jensen and Brent have to go over lines for a scene until late in the evening. It doesn’t stop Jensen from knocking on Jared’s door when he’s done though, and then wrapping up in each other until the alarm goes off at six am.

 _Finally_ , they get off early and then have two blissful days off.

“I’ve never been so thankful for child actors in my life.” Jensen says around a mouth full of noodles.

Jared smiles and reaches for the bill. They’re at a restaurant so close to their hotel that they walked there. “They only need two days with them?”

“Yeah, they’re supposed to me and Brent when we were kids. It’s just some quick shots I think.”

“So what’re we gonna do for two whole days?”

“Bed,” Jensen says seriously, “I need my bed. And I kinda need to learn some more lines.”

“More lines? Seriously? Jesus. We’re almost done filming, how much more can there be?” Jared’s a little disappointed because he’d been hoping they could do some more sightseeing and other various activities that will finally require nakedness.“I guess that’s cool though. I should really start looking online for places to live once we get back to LA.”

Jensen takes two mints when they walk past the sitting area in the restaurant and throws one to Jared. It got dark fast but luckily the hotel is only a block away. They walk side by side, knuckles brushing until finally Jared entwines his fingers with Jensen’s.

“Which school is it that you’re going to again?”

Jared moves to the side to let a woman with a bunch of shopping bags past them. “I just have to take a few master classes at the School of Professional Makeup.”

“And then what’re you gonna do?”

“Don’t know yet. Probably stay in LA. That’s where the work will be, or I can go where the work takes me. What about you? Any movies lined up after _Cabins_?”

Jensen shakes his head. “I have to do some press for it, some guest spots on some talk shows to promote the movie. Most of it’ll be in LA but I might have to go to New York for some late night shows. My agent will be sending scripts to my place as soon as we wrap though, hopefully good ones.”

Jared nods, knowing how the business works, hoping that if Jensen does have to leave LA that it won’t be for too long. “Hey, you wanna stop and get a coffee?”

“No, but I’ll wait for you.” Jensen says and stops at the small coffee shop on the corner.

“You? Not wanting coffee? Are you sick or something?”

Jensen shakes his head and squeezes Jared’s hand in his. “I just want a good night sleep.”

“Yeah, it is kinda late. Let’s just get back.”

They stroll for the majority of the walk, not in any hurry to get to the hotel. Until Jensen says, “Hey you wanna help me run through the lines tonight?”

“Really? You never let me help.”

“That’s because you kind of suck at acting.”

Jared just grins at the remark. “So it must be a pretty hard scene, huh? What is it?”

“You know the part of Julie? Lacy Jacobs is playing her.”

“Don’t tell me I have to read lines for a girl. For your movie girlfriend. ”

“Just help me practice for awhile.” Jensen’s actually pleading now.

Jared’s mouth spreads into a slow wide grin as he pushes through the lobby door of the hotel. “Is there a kissing scene that you’re worried about?”

“I haven’t kissed anyone in three years. Yes, I’m worried about it.”

“God, you’re so fucking cute.” Jared shakes his head in amusement and presses the elevator button to floor five.

“And how does that make me cute?”

“With lips like yours, trust me. Lacy Jacobs is not even gonna remember her own name.”

“Always so helpful, Jared. Thank you.”

Jared snickers and starts to pull out his room key. “Wait. Are we going to yours or mine?

“Um,” Jensen blushes and points to his room. “You need anything from your room?”

Thinking about it, Jared should probably grab his toothbrush since he’s sure he’ll be spending the night. “I’ll be right back.”

Jensen unlocks his door and then gives the key to Jared. He looks in the empty room, warily, and attempts to hide an unsettled glance in Jared’s direction.

“I’m just gonna take a look around.” Jared pushes past Jensen, not waiting for a reply and steps into the room. He opens the bathroom door, turns the light on, goes to the window and shuts the blinds. “Everything looks good.”

“Um. Thanks.” Jensen closes his eyes and Jared can tell he feels ashamed. But when Jensen speaks again, his tone is strong and sure. “I’m gonna go to bed and start reading.”

“Wait for the good parts till I get back!” Jared calls out as he jogs down the hallway and can hear Jensen laugh until the door closes and locks.

Jared washes his face, grabs his toothbrush, and a change of clothes. He runs back to Jensen’s room and throws all his crap in one of the chairs. Jensen is already in the bed, script in hand and bare-chested. There’s only a side lamp on and it’s really quiet in and outside of the room. Jared quickly strips off all his clothes expect his boxer briefs and slides under the covers.

He can tell that Jensen’s making a point not to look up if the fake concentrating is anything to go by.

“So,” Jared sidles up right along Jensen’s lean body, “I’m ready for my close up.”

Jensen breaks his serious face and starts to smile. “You’re such a cheese ball.”

“My balls are made of awesome, not cheese,” Jared grins widely, “Although they might smell a little like cheese after a good work out.”

Jensen scrunches his nose, “That’s really disgusting. Congratulations, you made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.”

“Did it taste like cheese?”

“I’m gonna gag if you don’t stop.”

Jared laughs hard, his body shaking the bed with manly giggles. “I’m totally kidding. My balls are always minty fresh.”

Jensen pretends not to be amused but the corners of his mouth can’t stay down. “Can we please read these lines now?”

“Okay, okay.” Jared settles on his stomach and holds himself up on his elbows. “Explain the scene.”

“It’s at the end of the movie and I’m asking Julie to marry me and then we kiss passionately and all that crap.”

“So what kind of kiss is it gonna be?”

“I dunno,” Jensen shrugs. “Whatever kind of kiss David tells me it has to be.”

“Well…” Jared thinks about it for a minute, thoughtfully scratching his chin. “It could be a soft kiss… like this.” He leans up a little, smoothes his hand over Jensen’s stomach and their lips touch gently, short and sweet. “Or it could be a slow kiss… like this.” Jared presses his parted mouth to Jensen’s again and angles his head until they kiss in quick pumps of flush, full lips, the sounds of moist soft smacks filling the room.

“Or it could be a long kiss,” Jared whispers into Jensen’s mouth, then captures it again, going in deep and then pulling back quickly over and over until he hears Jensen start to breathe heavily. “Or it could be a _really_ good kiss…”

“Would you just--” Jensen pulls on Jared’s arm and grabs the back of his head, fingers threading through his thick hair and tugging for the right position. Their tongues instantly slide together and both of them moan at the heated contact, feel the intensity of it rush through their veins. Eyes closed, they eat at each other’s mouths, finding the rhythm of perfect pressure and sync, fitting together so effortlessly that it’s almost too easy.

Jared pulls back a little to tease, nips and then sucks at Jensen’s full bottom lip, but Jensen doesn’t chase. He lets his head fall back on the pillow, blinking slowly, his eyes big with curiosity.

“What?” Jared smiles warmly at Jensen’s fascinated expression, dipping his head and going back for one more taste of Jensen’s pouty mouth.

“I don’t like to kiss.”

“Oh. Shit.” Jared starts to move away, disappointed and embarrassed as all hell.

Jensen catches his arm easily and pulls him back. “I mean that I didn’t like kissing. _Before_. My ex – he did it too hard and I couldn’t breathe. I guess I kinda forgot what it could be like. And with you… you actually make it good.”

“You sayin’ that I’m a good kisser, Ackles?”

“It’s too soon to say right now,” Jensen glances down to Jared’s mouth and he licks his own lips, “I’m gonna need you to kiss me a whole lot more so I can make sure.”

“That could be a problem,” Jared lets out a long sigh, situates himself on top of Jensen’s body and licks into Jensen’s mouth with a broad swipe of his tongue.

“Why’s that?” Jensen’s breath flutters again, clearly turned on to the core.

“I might not be able to stop.”

The script lay on the floor next to the bed, open and forgotten as they kiss long and hard. Jared is amazed at how quickly Jensen gets into it, the timid and shy touches now forgotten and he’s grabby, squeezing at any muscle he can find, scrapping his nails across Jared’s shoulders, down his back and over his ass, finally settling his palms there.

It’s a huge turn on and Jared struggles to keep up. A part of him thinks to go slow, shower Jensen with gentle kisses and worship his body like he deserves. But it’s been so long and this thing between them, the constant flirting and the _want_ is taking over, and Jensen seems desperate for it too, so Jared can only hang on, let Jensen take whatever it is he needs.

It doesn’t take long for their boxers to become sticky with a mess of come after they press and grind together, hips and mouths thrusting at the same steady pace, urgent and passion filled.

  


  
Jared wakes the next morning with Jensen staring at him.

“You made me cream my underwear last night.”

“You’re welcome?” Jared yawns and closes his eyes again. He has a feeling he’ll need all the rest he can get in order to deal with Jensen today.

“Just by kissing me. I came just from you kissing me.”

“And?”

“And that’s pretty pathetic,” Jensen throws himself down back on the mattress. “You’d think I’d be able to last longer.”

“For the record, I came too. Just from kissing you.” Jared says, turning to face Jensen and grabbing his hand. He brings Jensen’s open palm to his mouth and kisses it and then each of his knuckles. “I hope there will be more kissing. A lot more…”

Jensen doesn’t say anything and Jared has a mini mental freak out in his head. He hopes that he didn’t push last night or unknowingly remind Jensen of the past and everything he wants to forget.

“What if I wanna do more than kiss?”

“Um,” Jared’s nervousness goes away and gets replaced by excited flutters, “We can do whatever you want.”

“When was the last time for you?” Jensen asks. He presses his lips to the corner of Jared’s mouth, travels down the side of his neck with nips and bites.

Jared clears his throat, trying to concentrate on the question, “That I what? Had sex?”

Jensen pulls back and nods, watching Jared expectedly.

“I dunno. It was awhile ago, that’s for sure. Probably like a year.”

Jensen raises his eyebrows and tilts his head doubtfully, “That’s impossible. You’re too hot for guys not to be all over you.”

“Seriously. I’ve been really busy with work. And I’m not interested in anything casual.” Jared reaches over for a kiss and Jensen lets him in for a small peck. “Look, I don’t wanna do anything that you’re not ready for.”

Jensen pushes Jared back into the pillows and crawls on top of him. “It’s been three years. It’s been long enough, trust me, I’m ready. I _want_ you.”

“Jen…” Jared slides his hands up Jensen’s torso, fingers skimming over the long scar and back down to his hips, griping tightly. “I don’t have anything.”

Jensen thrusts his tongue into Jared’s mouth. It quickly turns into a slow oral fuck until they’re both breathless with want. “Weren’t planning on getting laid, huh?” Jensen says, smirking and moving down Jared’s body with intent.

“I was planning on being professional.”

“Uh, I heard you talking about chicken-flavored cock the first day on set.” Jensen says smartly, kissing all along the bony knobs of Jared’s abs and licking down the trenches of flat muscle. His eyes are sex-filled, hungry and very determined.

“Well, after that,” Jared whispers, his voice too cracked for normal when Jensen’s marking him with moist, hot trails of wet, open mouthed bites.

Jensen pulls down Jared’s briefs slow, over his long, long legs and watches as his thick cock comes into view. His eyes light up and he smiles so real that Jared can’t help but chuckle when Jensen attacks him with another long kiss. They’re both still a little gross from the night before, but the dried loads just don’t seem to matter anymore.

Somehow, Jensen wiggles out of his own briefs and straddles Jared’s waist, skin to skin, heat to heat, and Jared’s so hard he could burst.

“Wanna ride you.”

Jared squeezes his eyes shut and can feel himself straining as he tries to keep hold of himself. “Jen. God. You got anything?”

Jensen shakes his head, takes one of Jared’s hands off of his hip and sucks his fingers in his mouth. It gets messy and wet and Jensen eventually just goes for it, taking Jared’s fingers out and spitting on them, then standing up on his knees and guiding Jared’s hand between his legs, rolling his eyes back when they finally reach his hole.

“S’been so long,” Jensen whimpers, his chest flushing a beautiful shade of pink arousal and Jared doesn’t push in, just rubs his fingertips in small quick circles and pressing hard until Jensen loosens and opens up slightly on his own.

Jared pulls his hand away and sits Jensen right on top of his shaft that’s lying flat and straight on his stomach, almost reaching his bellybutton. Jensen spreads his legs and slides his hole up the length of Jared’s cock and then down again towards his balls, twisting his hips and just riding the smooth slickness of Jared’s long dick, feeling the ridges of the fat head against his sensitive hole, precome making it all so blissfully slick, the tease of wanting Jared inside of him overwhelming but not letting it happen.

They grind and Jared sits up with Jensen still in his lap, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s back and pushing down by holding his shoulders, fucking between Jensen’s ass cheeks and gliding against his hole with every thrust. They both come, almost together when the head of Jared’s dick catches again on Jensen’s rim and Jared can feel Jensen start to contract and squeeze around the very tip of his cock.

The world stills as they breathe in each other’s air, their bodies frozen as they come down and then they kiss, long and hard until Jared falls back and Jensen falls with him.

“You’re gonna kill me. A wonderful, awesome death.”

Jensen’s forehead is sweaty and Jared’s never seen him happier. “I still got skill.”

“You have amazing skill. Never, _ever_ doubt that.”

They slump together, relaxed and tired, and fall asleep quickly wrapped around each other. Two hours later, Jared wakes first and props up to look at Jensen, asleep with his arms flung to the side.

He runs his the back of his knuckles all along Jensen’s stomach, skin so soft with baby-fine blond hair, and freckles so faint they’re hard to see until Jared gets real close, presses his nose to Jensen’s bellybutton and breathes in deep.

“What’re you doin’”? Jensen’s voice is thick with both sleep and humor.

“Mmm,” Jared inhales sharply again, “You smell so good.”

“I need to shower.” Jensen stretches and then tangles his fingers in Jared’s hair. “And then do some laundry.”

Jared groans at the mention of the dreaded chore, which he has to do too. “I don’t wanna.”

“Ah babe, always such a whiner,” Jensen teases.

“Better than a diva,” Jared yelps as Jensen tackles him to the bed. He doesn’t even try to fight Jensen off, just laughs as tickling fingers find their way under Jared’s armpit and under his ribs.

Jensen suddenly stops, distracted, and Jared is about to ask what’s wrong.

“God…” He practically purrs, biting his bottom lip between his teeth. “You are so fucking perfect.”

“Hardly,” Jared says, watches as Jensen sits up and just looks at him, gaze traveling over his naked body.

“You know how long it’s been since I’ve touched someone else like this?” Jensen finally says, barely a whisper.

“Too long.” Jared replies. “You can touch me, Jen.”

Jensen shakes his head, looks at Jared’s chest like he’s fixated. “I know I can. It’s just… the last time I felt like this with someone…”

Jared keeps his breathing steady, even though he’s so mad at the guy who will always make Jensen question his motives from now on. If the guy weren’t already dead…

“You got hurt. I understand that, Jensen, I really do. But I’m not gonna--”

“I know.” Jensen finally lifts his eyes to meet Jared’s. “I know you’re not him.” He traces a finger slowly around Jared’s nipple. “I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m fine one minute and the next I get all retarded.”

“C’mere.” Jared doesn’t pull at Jensen, but waits for him to lay down on his own. He cuddles right into Jared’s side and they rub their feet together.

The silence is comfortable now that all the secrets are out in the open and there’s nothing to hide anymore. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted, and all the problems with it, leaving what can only be hope and a resolution to move forward.

“We should really get something to eat and head down to the laundry room.” Jensen says, making no move to get up. “I have, like, at least five loads to do.”

Jared sighs, can’t stop running his hands down Jensen’s spine. “Doesn’t the studio pay someone to do our laundry for us?”

“Lazy, lazy, lazy,” Jensen shames and rolls over. Jared reaches out, his palm almost covering the scar on Jensen’s flat stomach completely. “You wanna take a shower and go down to the restaurant?”

“Together?” Jared grins.

“That’s the idea.”

Jared growls and chases Jensen to the bathroom, captures him around the waist and sucks at his lips. “Feels so good…” Jared says between kisses, “That we can finally do this.”

Jensen just answers with his tongue, sliding it along side Jared’s and they play in each other’s mouths, flicking and smacking together, until they’re both hard and leaking. The tile is cold under their feet and it’s Jared who somehow pushes Jensen away and turns to get the shower started.

It’s a huge stall with two showerheads on either side, a small bench in the middle. Jared pushes on it to test the weight, then sits down. “Yeah, this’ll do fine.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow but steps in without a word, the water matting his hair down and warming his skin. The steam is quickly beginning to fill the room, dewy mist making the air thick and hot. It all makes Jared’s mind go to this hazy, calm place and it feels so good that Jensen is right here with him.

“I got big plans for you.” Jared grabs at Jensen’s hips and turns him around. “Actually, more like big plans for your sweet ass.”

Jensen doesn’t move away but he does twist his body to thread his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Hey, it’s been awhile.”

A small kiss on Jensen’s hipbone and Jared grins up at him knowingly. “I got ya, babe.” He turns back to the unbelievable, very peach-like ass right in front of him, can’t even stress how happy he is to finally get his hands on it. He spreads Jensen’s cheeks slowly, breathing in deep to calm his own horniness because if he doesn’t get it under control now, he’ll shoot far before he wants to.

Jensen doesn’t seem tense at all under the strength of Jared’s hands so he dips further in, parting Jensen’s ass as wide as he can get until all of him is exposed. There’s no teasing, no light little flicks of tongue, no -- Jared dives in, almost drooling to get his mouth around that anxious hole.

He sucks on it, slow at first and then speeds up as his tongue slithers all around, finally sliding home. Jensen is making grunting noises above him, his body twitching in pleasure and he presses back into Jared’s face.

Sadly, it’s over before Jared can really get into it but he does have his tongue far enough up Jensen so that he can feel him come from just his mouth and then pull away.

Jensen has his eyes squeezed shut as he turns around, sinks to his knees and shoves Jared’s dick to his mouth. There’s barely any time for Jared to realize what’s going on when it happens, his cock instantly engulfed in a warm, wet, juicy hole.

“Oh god, Jensen. Jen. I’m –it’s too good, holy shit I’m gonna come.” And Jared does, as soon as Jensen’s index finger presses hard right at his asshole.

Their come is sticky but quickly washed away down the drain and Jared’s legs are shaky after he stands up. “Our new nick names should be Five-Second Sally. Seriously, I haven’t come that fast since I was a teenager.”

Jensen smirks, even though he came just as fast, and grabs the soap. “The joys of a new relationship.”

Jared can’t stop smiling at the comment. He raises his arms over his head so Jensen can wash every part of him, including his stinky armpits that Jensen has currently his nose in and smelling deeply.

“Gross, Jen, ew.”

“Your smell is awesome too.” Jensen bites at the flesh and then soothes it with the slick soap. “I love it.”

Jared’s afraid he’ll say something stupid if he doesn’t busy his mouth, so he leans in for a kiss and doesn’t stop until the water runs cold.

“Doing laundry sucks big time.”

It’s true. The hotel laundry room for guests is small and hot and the plastic chairs are really painful to sit on. The walls are painted this puke yellow, pealing in certain places and even though there’s liquid soap everywhere, an underlying fish smell lurks in the corner.

It’s okay though because as soon as five loads start being washed between them, Jared has hoisted Jensen up on one of the machines and they begin to make out.

It was the kind of kissing where their lips opened so wide they could feel the corners of their mouths start to split. Tongues met together as the parts of their bodies entered each other over and over again. Teeth clanged with teeth, the gentle sound of passion echoing in their ears and throughout the dreary room. Their tongues couldn't keep away from each other. They never stopped moving. Breathing all of a sudden became insignificant. The only lifeline they needed was their tongues licking together and becoming a link of support.

Only when the wash stops is when they break apart, chests heaving to get oxygen. They reluctantly separate to put wet clothes in the dryers and then Jensen gets right back up on the washing machine and pulls Jared to stand between his legs again.

“So, tell me something good,” Jared says, “Something awesome that happened to you.”

Jensen smiles, presses his mouth to Jared’s again. “You mean besides meeting you?”

“Yeah, like something when you were growing up. I bet you were popular in high school, huh?”

“Mmm, I don’t know ‘bout that.” Jensen rubs at his chin and looks away. “I played football n’stuff, but I still studied hard and on the weekends my parents made us go camping with them. Actually, I always pretended that I hated it, but those were the best times… playing battleship with my brother, roasting marshmallows with my sister, my mom and dad cookin’ and the hikes we’d go on.”

Jared can feel how happy Jensen is just by remembering.

“God, one time we were all in bed and dad went out because he thought he heard something and the dog ran out to follow him. She got sprayed by a skunk.” Jensen starts laughing and Jared can’t help but to join the contagious sound. “It was awful! We had to wait till morning to get tomato juice. My brother slept with his head in the pillow.”

“Ew, I can smell it from just you describing it.”

“Cannot,” Jensen pushes at Jared’s chest.

Jared catches Jensen’s hands and links their fingers together. “You know… I like camping. And I like dogs too.”

“What’re you saying?”

Jared uses both of their tangled hands to brush the hair out of his face. “I’m just saying we could do that stuff sometime. Together. Invite the family along for a night or two.”

Jensen’s lips break out into a wide grin. “That sounds great.”

To Jared, it also sounds like the future.

A few hours later and they’re folding clothes in Jensen’s room, making little piles on his bed and not watching the movie on tv.

Then Jensen stops folding, throws some jeans down and puts his hands on his hips. “Maybe you should just keep some of your stuff in here. If you want.”

“Absolutely,” Jared doesn’t even look up from the shirt he’s placing on a hanger, “If you’re sure.”

“There’s only a couple more weeks left of filming.” Jensen says. “I don’t want to spend any more time away from you than I have to.”

“Yeah, Jen. I’ll move in here with you.”

It’s starting to push at Jared’s heart, all these things Jensen’s slowly admitting, and the pressure is building into something he’s never felt before. It’s nice. It feels like every emotion he sees in his dad’s eyes when his mom walks into the room. Jared never thought he’d look at someone like that, but now, as he’s doing something so domestic and boring with Jensen -- it’s still fun and now it seems right.

He starts to put his socks in the dresser drawer when he notices the stuffed sea otter on the night stand, right by the lamp.

“Does Mariah look after you when you sleep?” Jared asks, forgetting about the socks and grabbing the animal.

Jensen blushes and scowls, “Leave Mariah alone.”

“Mariah says hiiii Jinsinnnn.” Jared squeaks out, waving the tail and flops down on the bed.

Jensen straddles his lap and covers the sea otter’s eyes, “Can’t have her watchin’ while I’m kissin’ you silly.”

“Sorry, Mariah. Under the bed you go.” Jared tosses it to the side so he can catch Jensen in his arms, wants to always be there when he needs catching.

After the two days off, their schedule gets busy again because there’s only two weeks left to film and each day they’re on location, away from the familiarity of the studio. But every night they spend in Jensen’s hotel room, sleeping or talking or trading orgasms with their hands or mouth.

It’s late by the time Jared sucks Jensen between his lips, tongue rolling and working for Jensen’s taste to explode down his throat.

It doesn’t take long.

Jensen’s breathing hard by the time he comes and Jared nuzzles his softening cock, spreads his legs and thumbs open his ass, plants dirty hot kisses there, then sucks his balls one by one and finishes off with loud slurp at the head of his dick.

Jared came by rubbing off on Jensen’s leg while he blew him.

They lay together, Jared almost asleep when Jensen coughs and clears his throat.

“Are you out?”

Jared grins, kisses Jensen’s nipple, up his neck and makes a trail to his mouth. “Jen, I own a pink fanny pack and occasionally wear my hair in pigtails.”

“Good point. What about to your parents? Your friends?”

“At the risk of sounding like a total loser, I don’t have many friends. My best friend back in New York was my boyfriend and he slept with one of my really good friends and so I’ve been really distant with people because of that douche. My parents have known since my junior year in high school when I started doing hair and makeup for the school plays and not playing baseball like my dad wanted. What about you? You out?”

“I didn’t used to be out until I had to be. I hid it from my parents but couldn’t lie about why I was in the hospital or who put me there. After everything I’ve been through, I can’t justify pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“So David and John… they’re cool with it?”

Jensen shrugs, “They said that I was hired for my ability to act, not who I sleep with.”

Jared smiles at that and demands a kiss from Jensen’s lips, and then gets up from the bed. Deep down, he’s glad that Jensen’s not super famous yet and doesn’t have issues with being a gay actor. So many actors are in the closet because of the risk of losing fame and money. Jensen doesn’t seem like the type to do that.

He steps over Jensen’s wardrobe from the day he’d been too tired to take off at the set, clothes littered across the floor and silver jewelry was scattered on the dresser.

“Going somewhere?”

“I’m gonna go run on the treadmill,” Jared says, pulling on shorts and a tank top. “I had way too much coffee and haven’t had a workout in a week.”

“Feeling flabby?” Jensen teases and slides further under the covers. He looks so tired.

Jared yanks up his shirt and slaps his flat stomach. “You know it.” He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, bends and gives Jensen a light kiss on the lips. “I’ll be right back.”

“Everyone stares at you.”

Confused, Jared pulls away. “What?”

“At the gym, when I worked out with you a couple weeks ago?” Jensen starts softly. “Every single person there eyed you up and down. The guys were jealous of your body and all the girls wanted to fuck you.”

“You’re the only one that gets to fuck me,” Jared whispers, firm and serious but not wanting to raise his voice.

Jensen’s eyes open in sleepy slits, the green a fresh lime color. “And I’m the only one who knows that.”

Jared sighs, frustrated and glances around the room. He stands abruptly and walks to the dresser, grabbing one of the rings that Jensen’s character wears. He puts it on his left ring finger and goes back to the bed. “Now everyone will know I’m taken.”

Jensen lets out a surprised, cute little gasp, “You’d do that?”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“Such a girl,” Jensen tugs Jared down for another satisfying kiss, “Thank you.”

Before they know it, the wrap party for the entire crew and actors is being held a local bar and grill and Jared is having an awesome time. Jensen is free of fake tattoos and his hair is back to a normal color.

Everyone is there and Jared hates to admit it, but he has been so involved and dedicated to winning Jensen over, he kind of forgot about everyone else.

No one is surprised when Jared forgets they’re in public and accidentally kisses Jensen.

In fact, Trish rolls her eyes and punches Jared in the arm, “Finally, you big stud!”

Jensen laughs loudly and Jared always wants to make Jensen happy like this, carefree and content.

Tim, the wardrobe guy, gropes Jensen’s ass and Jared gets a little pissed off until Jensen calms him down and reminds Jared that Tim is actually an okay guy. By the end of the night, Tim gropes everyone, including the craft service ladies.

David and John get stupid drunk and tell hilarious, crude jokes that almost has ginger ale coming out of Jensen’s nose.

Vince comes over to shake Jared’s hand and while Jared has seen him around the studio, Jensen must’ve told him to back off a couple weeks ago. Vince shares a knowing look with Jared and introduces him to his partner, Rob.

When Ben glances in Jared’s direction, he can’t help to notice that Jensen moves to stand in between his legs to mark his territory.

Jared’s never been more turned on. He loves that Jensen gets jealous.

Jensen leans in, takes Jared’s earlobe between his teeth and tugs lightly, and then says, “I think you should move in with me.”

It catches Jared off guard and he throws his head back to look at Jensen, “What’re you talkin’ about?”

“You’re moving to LA. My apartment is twenty minutes from the school you’re going to. I Googled it. I want you to move in with me.”

“Jen…” Jared takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He wishes they weren’t surrounded by their drunken friends right now.

“Jay…”

“Are you sure? I mean, that’s a big step and you haven’t been with anyone in such a long time and we haven’t known each other for that long…”

Jensen tilts his head to the side and circles his arms around Jared’s neck. “We just spent almost four months together, twenty four hours a day. Imagine right now not sleeping with me tonight. Not waking up with me. Because I can’t even think about not having you around. And if it doesn’t work out--”

“It’ll work out,” Jared interrupts, pressing their mouths together, “There’s no one else out there for me.”

Jensen grins and kisses him again, then pulls back with a smirk. “Wait – you mean, you didn’t want to have a foursome with Vince and Rob?”

Jared barks out a laugh and spills his coke all over himself.

They leave sticky and sated, with headaches from laughing so hard.

The last night in the hotel is a little surreal. It’s like leaving a place that’s become home. Jared has boxes being shipped along with Jensen’s, with Jensen’s address labeled on the front.

They have plan tickets sitting next to each other on the same flight and Jared can’t wait to see Jensen’s place, to lie in his bed, go grocery shopping together, stay up late and watch bad television, take long showers in the morning and do the dishes in nothing but boxer briefs.

Jensen lay naked in the hotel bed, absentmindedly stroking the fine hairs on his lower stomach as he waits for Jared to come out of the bathroom.

There’s lube and condoms on the night stand and Jared’s hard as a rock when he meet’s Jensen’s eyes. He leans against the frame of the bathroom door and just looks for a moment, wondering what Jensen’s thinking.

He slides a hand up Jensen’s leg and palms his dick that grows instantly thick and hard. “How you wanna do this?”

Jensen’s legs fall apart, his feet flat on the bed. “I think you know.”

Jared traces the jagged scar on Jensen’s chest with his fingertips, then leans to kiss along the broken, permanently bruised-colored skin. “You wanna know what I think?”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you,” Jared says with a slow kiss. “And I don’t want that to scare you, but I had to say it.”

Jensen laughs softly, his eyes shining with warmth. “For once in my life, I’m anything but scared, Jay. I kinda love you too.”

“Kinda?” Jared mocks being offended and pushes Jensen flat on the bed. “I gotta change that.”

“Yeah,” Jensen scoffs. “Make me fall deeper in love with you. Trust me, it’s not possible.”

“Oh, anything’s possible, baby.” Jared says as he grabs the lube and spreads Jensen’s legs further apart. “Just gotta believe.”

Jensen flushes deeply as his most intimate part becomes so exposed. “Make me a believer, Jay.”

Jared sits back on his knees and starts to open Jensen’s ass with a slick finger, nice and slow, going in deep and hard. “Gonna make you believe in miracles.”

“That sounds like a lotta talk,” Jensen pushes down eagerly on Jared’s finger, “And not a lotta action.”

Jared slides in two working fingers, stretching Jensen’s hole nice and wide, over and over until it’s as loose as it’ll get. “And that sounds like a challenge.”

“God,” Jensen moans. “Keep doing that.”

Jared stops to pull on a condom, leaving Jensen panting and humping into the air for some kind of contact. “Gotta go slow, babe, you’re tighter than hell.”

“S’ not gonna hurt.”

“Have you seen my cock?”

Jensen glances down between his legs. “Yeah, okay.”

Jared points his dick and watches Jensen’s face as he presses in. _God damn_ that’s good. He pulls out and pushes three fingers in Jensen quick and hard, then gets another two inches of his cock in the tight heat. Jared pulls out again and fingers Jensen before he pushes in another inch, fingers leading the way and then his cockhead following after he pulls his hand away.

When he’s finally balls deep in, Jared stops and just lets Jensen feel him, inside and out, runs his hands all over Jensen’s fine body and thrusts to keep Jensen squirming around him, squeezing occasionally and providing such a perfect grip around Jared’s dick.

“You gonna come, Jen?” Jared trails a fingertip to Jensen’s dick, smears the precome all around the head.

“Yeah,” Jensen grunts, admitting that he’s close, “Do it hard.”

Jared pumps his hips with a snap. “Like this?”

“Shit, _yeah_.”

“Can’t do it like that, Jen.” Jared measures his movements into an unhurried pace. “Gonna make you come by goin’ nice n’slow. Not gonna hurt you. Never would hurt you.”

Jensen makes a low whine in the back of his throat, “I know that.”

“Do you?” He stops completely again, waits for Jensen to answer.

“Yes.”

“Say it,” Jared demands, the whisper of hope hanging in the air.

Jensen leans up slowly for a kiss and then takes a deep breath in. “You will never hurt me.”

It takes all of Jared’s strength to keep a steady rhythm and at the end of it, he knows his thrusts are completely erratic and he just can’t help it. Jensen’s hole contracts all around him as he comes hard and long, and Jared is just done. Every part of his body reacts. His skin instantly covers in goose bumps, his toes curl as his mouth covered Jensen’s again, his heart beating at a furious speed, his lungs contract so tight, his dick that is surrounded by Jensen's ass instantly grows twice as thick, and his stomach flips like a book with thousands of pages sitting in the wind.

He holds his weight on his elbows and kisses Jensen fiercely, still inside of him, leaking and filling him up with everything he has until every last drop is in his lover.

“Okay.” Jensen says as he catches his breath. “You win. I love you. A lot. If you do that _every_ night.”

And there it is, that small void in Jensen’s eyes is finally gone, the empty space that Jared’s been waiting patiently to fill. He’s so glad that he was able to help.

Jared smiles, “My dick really likes your ass. Never wants to leave.”

They both adjust themselves so they can watch as Jared pulls out slowly, Jensen reaching between his legs to feel himself wide open around Jared’s cock.

“Wait,” He holds Jared still so just the head is still inside. “Kiss me.”

Jared whimpers at the request and tries not to thrust back in all the way. They kiss until Jared’s arms go numb and he’s hard again.

They don’t sleep much that night.

Getting to the airport at ass o’clock in the morning is hell for Jared, especially since Jensen is half asleep and refuses to wake up, following Jared around like a lost puppy until they finally get coffee and wait in the terminal.

They get first class seats, courtesy of the studio, and cuddle under some blankets with the lights dimmed above their heads. Once the plane is in the air and the noise settles into a familiarity, it’s like the whole world disappears around them.

Jensen reaches for Jared’s hand and their noses are only about an inch apart as they talk quietly.

“You think this is really gonna work?”

Jared doesn’t get offended by the stupid question. He’s just glad Jensen’s being honest with him. “If you let it happen, it will.”

“I’m still kinda scared.” Jensen admits softly.

“Of me?”

“Scared of what I’m feeling for you. It’s not the first time I’ve fallen for someone. And the last time I thought I was in love, I ended up in the hospital with fifty stitches.”

“Jensen,” Jared is careful to keep his voice calm and steady. “You gotta know I would never hurt you. I’m not that guy, never will be. Can’t you see that?”

“It’s not that easy.”

Jared kisses him, chaste and soft. “It really is. Ever since you opened up to me, let me in a little, nothing’s been easier in my life. I’ve never had someone who I think about all the time, want to be close with, and just be with for a very long time. And that’s how I know this is gonna work. It’s not complicated like every other relationship I’ve had.”

Jensen smiles a little, his gaze fixed on Jared’s chest. “I’m sorry I have doubts.”

“Me too. But that’ll change after awhile. You’ll see after our first fight,” Jared grins slowly, “When we don’t break up and I don’t hurt you, and that I’m in this for long haul.”

“First fight, huh?” Jensen laughs. “I can’t wait.”

“Oh it’ll be a doozy,” Jared promises. “I bet your mama will take my side.”

“My mama’s gonna love you,” Jensen whispers, closing in on Jared’s mouth again, “Can’t wait for you to meet her.”

“See, Jen?” Jared sweeps his fingers over Jensen’s cheeks and down his neck, his hand landing on his heart. “It’s all about our future together, past forgotten.”

“The past made me who I am today, Jay. A sometimes paranoid, antisocial freak actor.”

“I can live with that,” Jared shrugs, “As long as you can live with a loud, hyper, immature dork.”

“You’re not as loud as you think you are. It’s pretty cute.”

“Now you tell me.”

“Want me to tell you something else?” Jensen leans in closer to whisper in Jared’s ear.

Jared loves the feel of Jensen’s recently shaved cheek on his and nuzzles all he can. “Sure.”

“I know it’ll work. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Oh is that right?” Jared leans back in the chair and narrows his eyes at Jensen. “Sometimes I hate that you’re such a good actor.”

“You love it.”

Jared smiles and watches as Jensen’s eyes close, probably going back to sleep. It’s nice to see Jensen like this, with his natural hair and green eyes, free of makeup that transforms him into someone else. He doesn’t have to act anymore, at least right now, onscreen or off. He can be real, be the person that he was meant to be without any fear. The mask has slowly washed away and the tragedy has finally faded with it.

 

End

 

**Author's Note:**

> tinkabell007 - thank you for the amazing art!


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